The number on the scale.
I want to lose weight. I want to get to the point where I don’t have anxiety about leaving the house because I know that I look pregnant and more than likely someone will make a comment about my being pregnant (I’m not). I want to get to the point where I can shop in the regular section and not the plus-sized section. I want to get to the point where I can look myself in the mirror and not hate the reflection staring back at me. Mainly because I know that overweight reflection represents the failure I have become, and how much I have lost control.
The true battle is much more than the number on the scale. The number on the scale is simply a visual indicator, a representation of how I am faring in the greater battle. Here is what really matters:
- Getting Healthy. Right now, I never have any energy. Getting up and down is a chore. I want to be able to have enough energy to play with my kids, and do normal things without getting out of breath! Furthermore, my weight is centered in my stomach, which is very unhealthy. I’m a girl with a family history of heart problems, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, cancer, and literally, EVERY single person in my family has diabetes. I need to do everything I can to take care of myself and try to combat this depressing family history, not follow in its footsteps.
- Honoring God with my body. God’s word tells us, “Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you…and you are not your own. For you have been bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” I want to beat this, because I know that what I am currently doing is not honoring God with my body.
- Honoring God with my heart. God’s word tells us that He should come first. God alone should control my life, yet right now, food pretty much controls me. I want to get to the place where food is sustenance. Where I eat when I’m hungry and not when I’m bored, restless, sad, upset, depressed, anxious, etc. I’m an emotional eater. I know that I need to turn to GOD and not food. It’s just a matter of breaking these habits and overcoming.
- Enduring to the end. Paul compares the Christian life to a race. Running a race requires commitment, dedication, endurance, discipline, will-power, etc. Significant weight loss requires those same things. I have a history in my life of starting things I don’t finish. Of getting discouraged and giving up. I want to be trustworthy to God. I want to be able to run the race for Him and stick with it. For me, this weight loss thing is a start. It’s a start for me to actually finish something that gets tough.
I pray that one day I can overcome the hold that food has over me. I was reading other weight loss testimonies recently and that’s one of the things that struck with me, was the writer at Confessions of a Snowflake saying she had reached the point where food has lost its hold over her. I want to get there.