The Number on the Scale.

The number on the scale.

I want to lose weight.  I want to get to the point where I don’t have anxiety about leaving the house because I know that I look pregnant and more than likely someone will make a comment about my being pregnant (I’m not).  I want to get to the point where I can shop in the regular section and not the plus-sized section.  I want to get to the point where I can look myself in the mirror and not hate the reflection staring back at me.  Mainly because I know that overweight reflection represents the failure I have become, and how much I have lost control.

The true battle is much more than the number on the scale.  The number on the scale is simply a visual indicator, a representation of how I am faring in the greater battle.  Here is what really matters:

  1. Getting Healthy.  Right now, I never have any energy.  Getting up and down is a chore.  I want to be able to have enough energy to play with my kids, and do normal things without getting out of breath!  Furthermore, my weight is centered in my stomach, which is very unhealthy. I’m a girl with a family history of heart problems, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, cancer, and literally, EVERY single person in my family has diabetes.  I need to do everything I can to take care of myself and try to combat this depressing family history, not follow in its footsteps.
  2. Honoring God with my body.  God’s word tells us, “Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you…and you are not your own.  For you have been bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”  I want to beat this, because I know that what I am currently doing is not honoring God with my body.
  3. Honoring God with my heart.  God’s word tells us that He should come first.  God alone should control my life, yet right now, food pretty much controls me.  I want to get to the place where food is sustenance.  Where I eat when I’m hungry and not when I’m bored, restless, sad, upset, depressed, anxious, etc.  I’m an emotional eater.  I know that I need to turn to GOD and not food.  It’s just a matter of breaking these habits and overcoming.
  4. Enduring to the end.  Paul compares the Christian life to a race.  Running a race requires commitment, dedication, endurance, discipline, will-power, etc.  Significant weight loss requires those same things.  I have a history in my life of starting things I don’t finish.  Of getting discouraged and giving up.  I want to be trustworthy to God.  I want to be able to run the race for Him and stick with it.  For me, this weight loss thing is a start.  It’s a start for me to actually finish something that gets tough.

I pray that one day I can overcome the hold that food has over me.  I was reading other weight loss testimonies recently and that’s one of the things that struck with me, was the writer at Confessions of a Snowflake saying she had reached the point where food has lost its hold over her.  I want to get there.

(Thanks for joining me from Weight Loss Wednesday on Confessions with a Snowflake.  You might also like:  A Mother’s Heritage and  )


  1. says

    Thank you for sharing. Sometimes it isn’t easy to put it all out there for the world to see and hear. Your 4 points speak straight to my heart. So glad to have met you and looking forward to journeying along side of you! Praying for you as you run this race!

  2. says

    I wish I could come through the computer and hug you! I remember all of these emotions and more when I started my weight journey. It’s such a hard place to be. But I promise it can get better. Just remember to be kind to yourself. Yes, you are in this place. But it doesn’t change who YOU are, a daughter of the King and He is the One who gives you value and worth….not a number on a scale.

    Take small steps. You can’t do it all at once. Don’t even try. That will only leave you feeling frustrated and ready to give up. Instead focus on changes you can make. Then take it one day at a time. Remember it’s all about YOU. This is your journey. And it’s a journey you can do…with Christ’s help. Keep repeating Philippians 4:13 and remember you are never alone.

    Blessings to you my new friend! I can’t wait to see your success! And I’m so glad you joined our Weight Loss Wednesday community!

    • says

      Thanks! I do know that it’s Christ who gives me value, but it’s hard to be so self-conscious all the time…and even worse to know that I did this to myself by abusing my body over the past years :( But, I’m hopeful that the cycle can end here and now. THank you for the encouragement and offer of friendship. I truly believe it will be easier with community.

      • says

        Yes, I agree with this. Knowing that I’m the one that does (because I still am) to myself is the worst…it brings up hatred that is self-defeating.

        You are so strong and on your way though it seems!

  3. says

    Reading this I flashed back to just a few months ago – my small goal seemed unattainable – it depressed me even more. Somehow I kept taking small steps, and stopped punishing myself for “bad” days. The goals came. Not as quickly as I had hoped, but they came.

    Just keep at it. The journey is so hard, but then that is why some don’t even try it. Congratulate yourself on taking the step and remember to be kind to yourself. And I am confident the goals will come.

    Good luck!

  4. kara@thechuppies says

    I so appreciate the fact that you wrote out what really matters.
    And my closest friend is going through this battle right now so it is close to my heart. I think almost every woman at some point wants to “lose a few pounds” but she’s helped me to see that she’s fighting a different battle…just what you wrote here…the hold that food has.
    Praying He’ll give you strength to press on and not getting discouraged and that you will see a blessing of encouraging results over time.

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