I want to serve my husband, and make our home a happy, peaceful place for him. I believe that home should be a sanctuary of sorts, and it’s my responsibility to make it that.
However, even with the best of intentions, bitterness can creep in, so today I want to address something that I’m pretty sure we’ve all thought, at least once…what about when my husband doesn’t deserve a proverbs 31 wife? What about the times when he is crabby, rude, inconsiderate? (I have a wonderful husband, but no one is perfect, and no marriage is perfect…we’re all going to have the occasional disagreement, spat, or bad day).
A couple nights ago, I had just such a night. Chad and I had a small spat, not even an argument really, but I felt like he was being inconsiderate of my feelings, and unappreciative of the things I’m trying to do to better myself and our family and home. My hackles were up.
Immediately the Holy Spirit prompted me…What about being a proverbs 31 wife? What about making his home a place of peace and striving to be a cheerful, loving wife?
Does it really count if he doesn’t deserve it? Yes!
The world seems to think that if you are loving and serving toward your husband even in those moments when he might not “deserve” it, or when you might not feel like it, you’re just being a doormat.
I don’t believe that at all. So what is it then? Selfless, sacrificial love?
Yes, and no.
Yes, it is selfless and sacrificial love to be kind and compassionate even when the other person doesn’t deserve it. For me, I have a wonderful husband, and it’s only moments now and then when I want to lash out instead of love. In those times, I think it’s more than just selfless, sacrificial love. In fact, we can just forget about the other person for a minute.
I do it for me.
God has called me to act in a certain way. His commandments set me apart from my surroundings. His commandments are to “act” not “react.” He sees everything, and I believe that he has compassion on us when we are hurt. But, He is just and His commands are just. There is no “but”. There is no “unless.” I am to love and serve my husband. Period.
Bitterness cannot enter in. For my sake. A contentious heart cannot enter in. For my sake. I have to strive to live in a way pleasing to the Lord, for my sake. The only way to be happy and fulfilled in this life is to be in God’s will. Only when I am living out His purpose for my life can I fully live in His joy and peace. And that is something too big to forfeit over a petty argument with my husband.