When hubby doesn't “deserve” a Proverbs 31 wife.


Over the past few months, God has given me a renewed hunger for Him and His will. A part of that for me is in serving Him through the roles He has given me, particularly that of wife and mother.

I want to serve my husband, and make our home a happy, peaceful place for him. I believe that home should be a sanctuary of sorts, and it’s my responsibility to make it that.

However, even with the best of intentions, bitterness can creep in, so today I want to address something that I’m pretty sure we’ve all thought, at least once…what about when my husband doesn’t deserve a proverbs 31 wife? What about the times when he is crabby, rude, inconsiderate? (I have a wonderful husband, but no one is perfect, and no marriage is perfect…we’re all going to have the occasional disagreement, spat, or bad day).

A couple nights ago, I had just such a night. Chad and I had a small spat, not even an argument really, but I felt like he was being inconsiderate of my feelings, and unappreciative of the things I’m trying to do to better myself and our family and home. My hackles were up.

Immediately the Holy Spirit prompted me…What about being a proverbs 31 wife? What about making his home a place of peace and striving to be a cheerful, loving wife?

Does it really count if he doesn’t deserve it? Yes!

The world seems to think that if you are loving and serving toward your husband even in those moments when he might not “deserve” it, or when you might not feel like it, you’re just being a doormat.

I don’t believe that at all. So what is it then? Selfless, sacrificial love?

Yes, it is selfless and sacrificial love to be kind and compassionate even when the other person doesn’t deserve it. For me, I have a wonderful husband, and it’s only moments now and then when I want to lash out instead of love. In those times, I think it’s more than just selfless, sacrificial love. In fact, we can just forget about the other person for a minute.

God has called me to act in a certain way. His commandments set me apart from my surroundings. His commandments are to “act” not “react.” He sees everything, and I believe that he has compassion on us when we are hurt. But, He is just and His commands are just. There is no “but”. There is no “unless.” I am to love and serve my husband. Period.

Bitterness cannot enter in. For my sake. A contentious heart cannot enter in. For my sake. I have to strive to live in a way pleasing to the Lord, for my sake. The only way to be happy and fulfilled in this life is to be in God’s will. Only when I am living out His purpose for my life can I fully live in His joy and peace. And that is something too big to forfeit over a petty argument with my husband.

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Readers' Questions

  • michael
    What if my husband doesn t deserve a proverbs 31 wife in 2020 with images proverbs 31 wife?
    4 months ago
  • The concept of a "Proverbs 31 wife" is based on a biblical passage that describes the ideal qualities of a virtuous and capable woman. It is important to note that this passage is not meant to establish a standard that every woman must meet, nor does it imply that a woman's worth is solely determined by these qualities. In any relationship, it is essential to have mutual respect and support between partners. If your husband doesn't deserve a Proverbs 31 wife, it may indicate that there are issues within the marriage that need to be addressed. Rather than focusing solely on the expectations of a Proverbs 31 wife, it is crucial to have open and honest communication with your husband about your feelings and concerns. A healthy relationship is built on trust, understanding, and compromise. In 2020, societal norms and expectations have evolved, and individuals should strive for relationships that are based on equality, respect, and shared responsibilities. Images of a Proverbs 31 wife should not define your worth or the worth of your husband. Instead, focus on building a strong foundation of love, trust, and open communication within your marriage.
    • dori
      What if my husband doesn t deserve a proverbs 31 wife with images proverbs 31 wife?
      4 months ago
    • If you feel that your husband doesn't deserve a Proverbs 31 wife, it's important to approach the situation with understanding and compassion. Remember that the concept of a Proverbs 31 wife is not about meeting unrealistic expectations or being perfect, but about embodying virtuous qualities.
      1. Communication: Talk to your husband about your feelings openly and honestly. Share your concerns and discuss potential areas for growth or improvement in your relationship.
      2. Self-reflection: Assess your own actions and behaviors. Focus on personal growth and strive to be the best version of yourself, independent of your husband's actions.
      3. Set boundaries: Establish healthy boundaries within your relationship to ensure that both partners feel respected and valued. This can include boundaries regarding communication, time commitments, or other aspects of your relationship.
      4. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals for advice and support. Consider couples counseling to work through challenges together.
      5. Prioritize self-care: Take care of yourself by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Self-care is important for your well-being and can contribute positively to your relationship.
      6. Remember, relationships require effort from both partners. It's crucial to approach the situation with empathy, love, and the willingness to work on the relationship together.
      • goytiom
        What if my husband doesn t deserve a proverbs 31 wife in 2020 with?
        5 months ago
      • If you feel that your husband doesn't deserve a Proverbs 31 wife, it's important to evaluate the dynamics and issues within your relationship.
        1. Communication: Start by having an open and honest conversation with your husband about your feelings and concerns. Discuss the aspects of the relationship that you feel need improvement and listen to his perspective as well.
        2. Individual growth: Focus on your own personal growth and becoming the best version of yourself. This includes setting goals, improving your own character, and cultivating your own interests and passions.
        3. Seek professional help: Consider seeking professional counseling or therapy to address any deeper issues or conflicts within the relationship. A trained therapist can provide guidance and assist in fostering healthier dynamics.
        4. Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to ensure that your needs and emotions are respected. This may involve setting limits on unhealthy behaviors or creating space for personal growth.
        5. Evaluate the relationship: Reflect on whether the relationship is healthy, supportive, and aligned with your values and goals. If it consistently falls short of these expectations, you may need to reevaluate the future of the relationship.
        6. Remember, the Proverbs
        7. 31 wife is not about perfection, but about character traits like wisdom, strength, diligence, and kindness. It is important to hold both partners accountable for their actions and work towards building a loving and respectful partnership.