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All my life, I have struggled with insecurities.  I was never pretty enough, kind enough, smart enough or funny enough.  I was never “good enough” and I was sure that everyone who looked my way could see my shortcomings and failures blaring like a neon sign.

When I had to go to my 10 year class reunion last summer, those insecurities really blossomed.  Because now, in addition to all the other things, I had gained 70 lbs and wasn’t “skinny enough”, which was a relatively new problem.

I obsessed about what people must see when they look at me.  Did they see my shortcomings as a mother?  Someone who was overweight?  One day during worship at church, I said, “God, what do you see?”  I braced myself for the condemnation that was sure to come.  I expected a list of my shortcomings and the list I had already prepared began running through my mind.

Instead, in the midst of my own thoughts, I heard a whisper in my spirit, “perfection.”

Immediately, I was overcome by the love of Christ washing over me and tears began to flow freely.  While the awesome feeling of being surrounded by His presence confirmed that God had indeed spoken the word to me, I was confused.  Allow me to confirm what you already know, I’m not perfect.

About the same time, I stumbled upon a blog entry, “Is God Good?”  written by a woman who lost her son.  Even in her pain, she says that God is good.  Because His goodness is not dependent upon our circumstances.  God used this to illustrate a completely different idea to me:  Just as His goodness isn’t dependent on our circumstances, His love for us isn’t dependent upon our worthiness.  

Romans 5:8 says that “God demonstrates His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

I realized that I was looking at things from my perspective, and not through spiritual eyes.  God led me to this verse:  “For by one offering, He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.”  (Hebrews 10:14)

He has perfected forever.

Romans 3:23 says “all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God”.  Romans 3:10 says “there is none righteous”.  No one is perfect, but the law requires perfection.  Romans 3:20 says that “by the deeds of the law, no flesh will be justified in his sight.”  No one is perfect, and the wages of sin is death.

When Jesus came, that law wasn’t done away with, it was fulfilled.  God’s law still requires perfection.  James says, “whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.” (James 2:10)  There is no “good enough”…it’s all or nothing.  As far as salvation goes, in God’s eyes there is no in between.  We are either perfect or not.  Heaven bound or Hell bound.  If we have even one sin, we aren’t good enough, and sin is separation from God (Isaiah 59:2) 

That’s why we need a savior.  Some verses that clarify Christ’s redemption:  2 Corinthians 5:21, Romans 6:3, Romans 7:6 

Jeremiah 31:34 says “I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” 

This is what Christ does for us when we accept His sacrifice.  He wipes out sin, making us perfect and blameless in the eyes of God.  We could have no fellowship with Him otherwise.  

God sees perfection when He looks at me, not because I’m perfect.  But because, through His grace, He chooses to “forget” my sins.  To remove them as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).  And, through His grace, He chooses to see me, clothed in the perfection of Christ instead of the ugliness of my sin.  He sees me through eyes of love and grace. 

I am so thankful for His sacrifice and His love.  Really believing (with my heart) how much he loves me is something that I have struggled with, and I shared yesterday over at Southern Mama & Wife, one of the things that really opened my eyes to the depth of God’s love for me.  Please check it out, and give her some encouragement while you’re there :)

Please note that I believe very much in striving for holiness, and the grace of God should NEVER be used as a license to sin.  I am merely sharing a revelation that the Lord gave to me, in hopes that it will help someone else as well.



  1. says

    What a wonderful message to share! I really enjoyed it, and know that I need to take it to heart. It is just one more reminder of what Jesus has truly done for us!
    By the way, I enjoyed your little “disclosure” at the bottom! =)

    • Crystal says

      Trina, thank you so much! I have just recently discovered your blog and have really been enjoying it as well :) I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea and leave nasty comments :) Although, I’ve been really blessed so far with supportive readers.

  2. says

    Hi Crystal,

    What encouraging words! I too, have been slowly realising this – that God sees Jesus in me. How long it takes to get grace, and even then, can we truly ever grasp it? I know I will always struggle to earn my salvation when I see the hideousness within me!

    I’ve so enjoyed your posts since coming across your blog. You’re one of my bookmarked ones, and I love your honesty and realism.

    Blessings to you!

  3. says

    You did a beautiful job addressing this. I am struggling with sort of the opposite…I have always been a perfectionist. I’m learning to let go and rest in God’s grace that he loves me just the same no matter what I do or don’t do.

    Mary Beth

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