Contentment Series: In Marriage

It’s my pleasure to introduce Tonya today at the start of our contentment series.  God has been dealing with my heart about contentment in finances, mothering, more mothering and marriage.  At the same time, I want to help build up other bloggers, so this week, I am hosting some awesome bloggers who are talking about contentment in various aspects of our lives.  I pray that you’ll be touched by these upcoming posts like I was, and that you’ll discover some new-to-you awesome women in the process!


Hi, Serving Joyfully readers! What an honor to be here with you today.

I’m Tonya, a midwest mom of 4, 3 of those munchkins arriving in 3 years.

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The words spoken most often at my house:

Hello”, “Goodbye” and “I’m Pregnant.”

I guess if I was being truthful, you’d also hear the words:

I said No!” and “I need FIRST time obedience” as well.

All this, set to the backdrop of , “It’s MIIIIINE“!!!!!!!

Hey, I have a 2 toddlers, what do you expect? :)

Being a stay at home mom is wonderful, but really, does the phone have to ring the same time the baby is crying, the kids are fighting, I am changing the 2nd poopy diaper in 10 minutes (deja’ poo), the pot on the stove is boiling over, someone is knocking on the door, AND the dog is barking?!

I blog over at 4 little Fergusons, and recently, my blog has taken a more serious tone…..

Because I have spent the last year, fighting the devil for my marriage.

We won, by the way. Praise be to God.

I Do Part 2 collage

Crystal asked me to share today about contentment in marriage. I had to really think about it…..AM I content in my marriage?

Am I content in our current state of hurting, healing and choosing forgiveness every moment of every day?

The answer is YES.

YES, because I choose it.

Philippians 4:11-12 “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.”

Want to know the secret?

Keeping my eyes on Jesus.

Not looking around at the marriages others have. Not looking back and wondering why God had me save myself for a man who would not do the same. Why God would allow my marriage to nearly fail, to make it new and whole again. The Lord disciplines those He loves. He is in the business of ALL THINGS NEW.

I am learning to be content in my marriage all over again, because even though my love story includes betrayal, it also includes tragedy turned TRIUMPH!

To be content simply means to be mentally and emotionally satisfied with the way things are. Someone who is content is willing to accept their current circumstances with peace of mind.

I choose to focus on the good that has come from our tragedy. Letting go of the thoughts of getting even, or walking away, but choosing instead to leap again into the arms of love, even though I am scared sometimes.

I thought I had the perfect marriage.


I was happy. My husband was happy. Our marriage light hearted, fulfilling and fun. The tone of our home, peaceful and joyful. I thought this would protect us from the devil’s attacks on our marriage.

I Do Part 2 collage 2

I had no idea it meant we had a BIGGER target than ever.

Listen, the perfect marriage does not exist. It doesn’t.

But if you keep your eyes on Jesus and face life with a positive attitude, and a willingness to stay and fight for your marriage, even when it might seem easier to give up and walk away…..You can enjoy a fun-loving marriage that withstands the test of time.

In a society that throws away broken things, rather than taking the time to repair them, we need to remember…..

Marriage is FOREVER.

I choose to be content.

I choose to fully invest my heart back into my marriage.


I choose us.


I choose contentment.

Right here.

Right now.

Even in the midst of all the hurting and healing, tears and sorrow, joy and laughter.

If you’d like to read our story: “Surviving Infidelity: Shattered Hearts, Broken Promises”, head on over to our blog. This series was hard to write, even harder to share with the world, but God is using them for HIS glory, each and every day.

Don’t EVER forget, God IS a God who can make beauty from the ashes of our lives, if only we will let Him. You CAN fight for your marriage, and you WILL win, because victory is ours by the blood of Jesus Christ our Lord. Praise His glorious name!




  1. Lauren Holmes says

    What an awesome post! That's right! Fight for your marriage! Good for you. :) Lauren,, Loving Life.

    • Crystal says

      Yes! It’s refreshing to see in the midst of our culture that so devalues marriage and wants to take any possible out.

  2. says

    It is so refreshing to hear that you made it, you survived and are pressing on. So many marriages never get past the hurt. You have made a choice and I pray you will have the strenght to continue and stand by your choice. I will be hoping over to read the rest of your story. Blessings to you.

  3. says

    Amen and amen to this!! I applaud you for your transparency and surrender!! Upward focus is a hard thing to do when every other direction pulls for our attention.

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