Okay, so I have to share with you all, even though to do so is to share my faults and insecurities. Some of you may read Courtney’s blog, Women Living Well. I have read her blog since I restarted my own back in April. Her heart shines through in such a beautiful way, and it’s such an encouragement to so many women! But, I rarely comment because she is so popular and has so many comments already that I assumed mine wouldn’t be acknowledged or really even noticed.
But then, a few weeks ago, I felt a tug in my spirit. You know, the one that comes straight from HIS spirit…telling me to comment. So I did. I made a conscious effort to comment on most of her blog posts. I started praying for her, for her family, and for her ministry.
At first I would check and check to see if there was any response, and there never was. It was discouraging, and I thought, Lord, she has all these people leaving her comments, people she has already formed relationships with through her years of blogging. I don’t matter in this.
I finally gave up on a response and decided maybe God had a lesson for me, reminding me that I should give, with no expectation of anything in return. Yes, it’s just a comment on a blog, but bear with me here.
The Holy Spirit worked in me, and I began to take JOY in leaving her comments and praying all the while that God would encourage her. I commented and I prayed for Courtney and her family, thinking that God was just teaching me a lesson (I had insecurity-inspired tunnel vision…because of course I couldn’t have anything of value to offer this big blogger, so therefore it must just be a lesson for me). Then tonight, I got on my computer and read this post from Courtney. Wow. And I was instantly humbled.
All this time, I was sad and discouraged that my comments didn’t receive a response, when Courtney is over there just trying to keep her head above water (I know that feeling well!). How selfish of me!
A lesson that God has taught me time and again (you’d think I would actually get it one of these times!) …that things are not always as they seem, and that sometimes the things we find offensive or hurtful aren’t meant to be so because sometimes there are motivations for someone’s actions or inactions that have absolutely nothing to do with me.
And I’m grateful! So grateful to be used in this online community. God can draw people together and use them. Even shy, introverted me! God told me to pray for Courtney because He saw her struggles and need long before she announced it on her blog, and I’m so humbled that He would call me to be a part of her prayer team!
If God is giving you a nudge, follow it! You may not ever see the reasons, but know they are often bigger than you and bigger than you can see.