So, every Friday, Lisa Jo Baker hosts 5 minute Friday. Basically, it’s a free writing exercise. She gives a word and we have 5 minutes to write. No planning, no editing, no overthinking. Just freewriting for 5 minutes. This is my first try, and I’ve discovered that I’m not very good at writing quickly or without edit. I need more time to get to the point, so the following doesn’t quite get there…but for the sake of honesty, I’m sharing it anyway :)
(I decided to compromise. I couldn’t bear the thought of half my message being out there, so I left the “go” and “stop” in there so you can see the 5-minute part, but then I added the rest at the end…)
Tonight, in an effort to get to know some of the Allume community, I decided to try out the Five Minute Friday twitter party. Twitter is such an integral part of social media these days. Everyone wants to know your “twitter handle” and “# of followers.”
I asked a blogging friend about community and everything she said was about twitter. I finally decided that in order to “fit in” in this blogging world, I needed to join twitter. Even though I know nothing about it. Even though the very idea of it was completely overwhelming. I was seeking community and fellowship so much that I would try it.
So, I did. I even tried the #fmfparty. Although I have to say the ladies there were awesome, it was an epic fail for me.
Still, it was hard to let go, so there I sat, trying desperately to follow a way-too-fast for me conversation in an online world that I don’t understand. My three-year-old was still awake (is still awake), asking me to please go lay down with him.
“See if daddy will lay down with you.” I tried to put him off. I was seeking community, here.
“No, mommy, I want you.” He always does.
“Okay, wait just a minute baby.” A minute turned into five and he was pulling at me, climbing on me, wanting me.
I need to focus on that.
I don’t need to be pushing my son into the sidelines. Growing my blog is not what’s important. Trying to force myself into being some sort of twitter maven for the sake of gaining friends in this online community? That’s not important. Yes, friendship is important, fellowship, community? Those things are important, and I believe that even online relationships can be valuable.
But my focus right now has to be here. It’s why I stay at home. Not to become a big-time blogger, but to minister to my family, where God has called me right now.
Lord, I pray that you will guide me. Lead me to my focus that you have called me to and help me stay there, completely apart from any other ambitions I may have for myself. I want to lose myself in focusing on you and your purpose for my life. Not lose you and this life in my focus on trivial things.