08Oct

The One Where I Come Clean…

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If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll know that I’m very much a proponent of authenticity.  I believe being real is the way to encourage one another, and share hope.  But, in many ways I’ve been a fraud.  The very title of my blog is a lie.

Serving Joyfully.

It’s my desire, but not my truth.

Because the truth is, I suffer from an invisible illness.  I’ve made reference to it a few times, but mostly it’s a topic I’ve shied away from.  Because I don’t know what to say.  I don’t know how to put words to paper.

So I waited.

I waited for my healing.  Waited for the time when I could talk about this thing called depression from the other side—the victory side.  Life is so much sweeter on the other side, and that’s what I wanted to share.  Not the darkness.  Because it’s hard.  It’s uncertain.  There are days when I forget that there is any other place besides here, in the senseless sadness.

So I waited.

This illness is so misunderstood, with harsh judgments.  There are misconceptions and so much shame.  I internalized the idea that this sickness is a sin that must be repented, overcome and in the past before I could bring it into the light. But it isn’t.  Depression is not a sin, because it’s not a choice:  it’s an illness.

So, I waited.

I waited for the other side.  I didn’t want to share from this side.  The defeated side. The one swallowed in darkness.

But it’s where I am.

So here’s the truth:  I suffer from depression, anxiety, which have led to an eating disorder.  In many ways, I feel that depression is an attack of Satan, just as could be argued for any sickness.  Jesus said the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, and that’s what depression does.

It takes every ounce of my energy every day not to let this illness win.  And sometimes I still feel like I’m losing.

You may remember that I don’t have health insurance.  For this reason, treatment hasn’t been an option for me. But even if it were, I’ve watched my dad struggle with depression my entire life, despite treatment.  There is no cure all, until God fulfills the promise He spoke into my life for healing.

I don’t know why depression has to be a part of my story, but I want to use it to His glory.  So, I’ve been waiting, praying for God to show me how and when to share.  Tonight, I sat down to write up a recipe, but this is what came pouring out.  I pray that you will look past the misconceptions, past everything you’ve ever heard or believed about depression (that it isn’t real, that it’s a sin, that it’s a sign of weakness, that it’s selfishness, that it’s just an excuse), and see the heart.  Not just for me, but for thousands of other people who are suffering from a very real illness.

I strongly prefer natural remedies, so if you have any info on non-medicinal remedies for depression, I would love for you to share!


 
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Comments

  1. Bless your sweet heart for sharing this. I know the want to wait to share until you are on the victory side of things, but please know that sharing tonight is a victory in its own. I know you will bless others through your journey. I will pray for your healing!

    • Shannon, thank you so much for your kind words! My deepest prayer is that just one person could be blessed by the sharing in some way. And you’re right, sharing was a victory!

  2. Cindy Kroon says:

    Crystal I, by sharing you are validating the fact that it is not a sin and that you can minister even in the dark place. Thank you for your authenticity and your courage. Praying The Lord will bless you as you seek him through treatment. Keep relying on his strength

    • Cindy, thank you so much for your encouragement! Your words have blessed me today, and that is my prayer–that I can minister even in the dark place.

  3. I can somewhat relate, but in an opposite way. I struggled with eating disorders for 27 yrs, which in turn placed me in the path of depression while battling it. Here is a post of part of my story (from my old blog)
    http://thesimplelifeof8.blogspot.com/2010/10/taking-care-of-mama-challenge-laurel.html
    Stay open, share on, spread hope in the process; praying for you.
    ~Sheri

    • Sheri, I look forward to reading your story later on today. Thank you for the encouragement, and I pray that you have found peace in the midst of your struggles as well.

  4. Crystal, it is really a breath of fresh air to hear something “imperfect” from a blogger. I love your title and think of it often during the day when I wonder if what I’m doing at home really matters or if anyone really notices the 100 little things I do all day long. I can only understand what you are going through from a very limited perspective. I had postpartum depression after my first baby was born. Nothing made it better, no one made it better and I never knew when it was going to end. It is such a helpless feeling to not be able to help yourself. I had many tearful times but even worse to me was the complete lack of emotion. I feel for you and hope you can soon move to the other side with the help of your God.

    • Thank you, for your kind words, Cristina! It is such an encouragement to me any time I can hear that my words are making a positive difference for someone. You have summed up so many of my thoughts concerning depression as well. It really is such a helpless feeling, and the lack of emotion is terrible as well. Thank you for your understanding, though I’m sorry you had to deal with that, I pray that God will use it in your life to help others through your understanding and compassion.

  5. Kelly Truax says:

    I couldn't agree with Cindy and Shannon more. All your readers who struggle with this need to hear when someone else struggles as well. If sharing your story leads just one person to Him, He has used you to bring Him glory. Share on, friend.

  6. I suffered through post partem depression and it was miserable!! I can’t imagine he struggle and pain of an on-going battle with such a thing. I pray that God will indeed give you healing and a new testimony. May God be gracious to you.!

  7. Shenna Allebes Mealey says:

    Depression IS an illness – it is NOT a sin. It IS hard – it is NOT a cop out. You have to be STRONG to keep wanting to try. You can not be weak and have any HOPE. It is NOT selfish to share this – it IS BRAVE! I am very grateful that I do not personally have to deal with depression in my own life. But I have many near and very dear to me that do. Some intermittently, some briefly postpartum, some for decades. One of my very bravest and most Christlike friends is sometimes totally debilitated by her depression. Some days are Lovely….and some days Stink. May you feel God's Loving Arms around you and the Love of Christ in your life.

    • Andi Temple says:

      Thank you Shenna. We touched on this a few weeks ago in RS and I appreciate seeing this. Mental illness is just so and we cannot pray our way out of illness, cancer, diabetes…prayer helps indeed with all things but mental illness is not a sin…thank you, my dear!

    • Shenna, thank you so much for your words! This is what everyone who suffers from depression needs to hear. I’m so thankful for people like you who can say “no, I’ve never dealt with this personally”, but can still find understanding and compassion instead of judging the illness as being “not a real thing.” Blessings to you as you encourage these friends in your life!

    • Laurie Robbins says:

      Depression? We are good buddies unfortunately.

  8. Shenna Allebes Mealey says:

    Depression IS an illness – it is NOT a sin. It IS hard – it is NOT a cop out. You have to be STRONG to keep wanting to try. You can not be weak and have any HOPE. It is NOT selfish to share this – it IS BRAVE! I am very grateful that I do not personally have to deal with depression in my own life. But I have many near and very dear to me that do. Some intermittently, some briefly postpartum, some for decades. One of my very bravest and most Christlike friends is sometimes totally debilitated by her depression. Some days are Lovely….and some days Stink. May you feel God's Loving Arms around you and the Love of Christ in your life.

  9. Depression is from satan. When we became children of the Most High God, we where given the spiritual mind of Christ. Romans says that we must renew our minds, our soul minds, with the Word. I am doing a Bible study by Andrew Wommack called Body, Soul, & Spirit. It has opened my eyes to see what Jesus has already done for me on the Cross. I would recommend that study!!!! I pray that you will live in the victory that Jesus died for you to have!!!

    • I completely agree that depression is from Satan, and I know that God has the power to help me get through it. I will look into the study, and thank you for your words.

  10. tmichelle1 says:

    Here is the absolute best resource that I know of that has helped so many concur this difficulty. As you know, with the LORD all things are possible. Liz Pence’s ministry, Hope Revealed has been a huge blessing. I have the pleasure of knowing Liz personally and I honestly don’t have enough time or space to tell of the way the LORD has worked in her life and she in mine. http://www.hoperevealed.com/

  11. tmichelle1 says:

    Sorry, that is supposed to be “conquer” not “concur”.

  12. Oh friend…this: “I don’t know why depression has to be a part of my story, but I want to use it to His glory.” yes, yes, YES. He will use this for His glory and He will create something beautiful out of your mess. Your honesty and vulnerability here are so precious, because it’s this kind of openness that helps expose the truth of this disease and it is so refreshing to come to a space like this and know you are not alone in your struggles. I remember when I first shared my story, only one month into treatments, still very broken, and I was scared…SO scared…of what others would say. But I was amazed at the people God placed right in front of me to walk me, pray with me, and carry me through those dark days…and the countless women who said, “you are not alone. ((hugs)) and prayers for your healing…and remember that you are NOT alone. There are countless men and women who know this same struggle, but, most importantly, there is One who will never leave you or forsake you.

    • Stephanie, I agree that openness can help expose the truth of depression. I was very scared to publish this, and even after I wrote it I was still debating (especially since a lot of IRL friends/acquaintances read my blog now). But in the end I just felt so compelled by God that I couldn’t not do it. Thank you for your encouragement and support! I’m really glad that I “met” you through (in)courage.

  13. My heart goes out to you and I’m lifting you up in prayer right now. I wish I had answers. I only know that if my heart aches knowing you are going through this, how much more must Christ’s heart ache for you. I don’t know why he allows this, yet I know that he is good and will work your life and story to good for his glory, as you trust and depend on him. I will be praying for you, dear sister in Christ.

    • Theresa, thank you so much for your kind words and prayers. And for the reminder that Christ feels every hurt along with us. The one hope I have is that He will use this for His good!

  14. I can so relate to what you're writing. Depression runs rampant in my family, and after the last pregnancy I'm feeling it's nasty talons. Praying for you. The anxiety that comes from financial hardship certainly doesn't help.

  15. Mary Crockett says:

    You and I must be kindred souls….I've fought with depression for so many years, having a great front on the outside (at least I thought so…) while hurting so deeply on the inside. I've tried meds and they did nothing…so I've fought…alone…for years. I've confessed, cried, tried harder, and have finally come to the conclusion that it's not a sin problem. However, I do sin because of it. I'm not blaming my sin on my depression, but I am saying that sometimes I am so overwhelmed with it all that I choose sin instead of running to God. I am so thankful that you wrote this…it helps my heart to know that I'm not alone in this battle…and that's just what it is….a battle…Satan wants nothing more than to paralyze us with this. I'm praying for you <3.

  16. Debbie Weber Hegeman says:

    Depression, has many facets. It is not a sin if you know that have not done something that needs to be hidden. Many prisoners are in depression because of what they did and have hidden for so many years. — Other reasons may be nutritional. Their are also, many other reason. I pray that you can find the help that you need. My prayers are with you. By the way, I like your blog. smile.

  17. Crystal,
    Your COURAGE will lead to enCOURAGEment for many others! Blessings to you for sharing your heart and your heartcries. Prayers for God to be close to you today and strengthen you as you seek His guidance and seek professional help for your “hidden illness.” I, too, suffer from a disease (Behcet’s disease) that no one can see, but it is very painful. I’ve been told, “But you look so healthy.” Also been told, “If you had enough faith, you’d be healed by now.” Neither are true, so you suffer in silence, knowing that only your Father in Heaven really, truly understands. Read Deuteronomy 33:12. It is a great comfort to me to know I can “rest on His shoulders.”
    Prayers,
    Pat

  18. Here’s the version of Deuteronomy 33:12 that I keep posted by my computer: “For the LORD’s beloved rests securely on Him, for He shields him all day long. And he rests on His shoulders.” This is printed on a drawing of Jesus holding an infant close to his chest. I always feel like such a “child” and need my Father to hold me close. It’s a great comfort to know that He does just that.
    Pat

  19. Thank you for your authenticity. Came here from Circle of Moms vote page because I was too discouraged to do what God has called me to do today– again. Because of your courage and your blog I have made the choice to put one foot forward again and resist the hopelessness. It is worthwhile to do what God has called us to, even when it’s hard. Thank you!!! May God bless you with wisdom for the road ahead and healing in His time!

  20. Crystal your in my prayers. I know how you feel, I’ve suffered through some major anxiety, and although I am getting better in very small slow stages I am not out of the woods. I seriously think 90% of us women go through it, (depression, anxiety) especially after having kids. A support team, Gods word and much prayer and supplication have helped bring peace into my life, but I still have my days, as we all do. I have many friends who are going through this and medicene and therapy have helped them. For me it was also about doing less, taking care of my health, and I had to scale down my blogging in a major way and focus and pray about what God desires of me this season in my life. This has helped me out extremely, especially since I’m homeschooling now. For others, its much mote severe and requires assistance from the medical field. My heart goes out to you, I hope you overcome this trial sooner than later! :-) Please know You are anything but alone, and your helping many others by sharing!! :-). Hugs and prayers yor way!!

    • Danielle, thank you so much for your prayers and kind words! God is slowly showing me some things that I can do to try and help myself. I did go to an “assessment” appointment recently where the woman said, “You’re a stay at home mom, now you’re homeschooling, you depend on your husband for everything, and you have no self-identity” and said this is the cause of my depression. So, I’m not very hopeful that the medical field will help. And so I return to the place of leaning on God alone and praying for his help. Your kind words mean a lot!

  21. I have no words to say except that God knows exactly where you are and exactly what you are feeling…. He is the greatest healer of all! Really. I’ve been in a roller coaster ride about 4 or 5 years ago. But God led me out of that.. I know He will do that to you too… Prayers for you Crystal…. =)

    • Viviene, thank you for your prayers. I know that He is able to heal me and I just wait for that time. And, pray that in the meantime I can do what needs to be done to serve my family as best as possible.

  22. Your honesty is beautiful and evidence of God being at work in you. Your depression is not a sin. I agree. And I will pray for God to bring healing to you in any way He sees fit and for His glory.

  23. As I read your comments, it was like reliving my own past. I too have struggled with depression and an eating disorder for over 10 years. Not really sure which came first. I can now say that I am on the “other side” but only by God’s grace. All I can say is, keep persevering. There were many days I just went through the motions because that’s what I was supposed to do. God was gracious and blessed those efforts in spite of my failings. I am praying for you this morning for healing but perseverance during the trial. Thanks for sharing.

  24. You might also have your thyroid checked. A great website is http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com. Low thyroid function is a major cause of depression and weight gain.

  25. oh my heart goes out to you, I am in many ways in the same boat. I have struggled with depression and PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) for years. and I also have eating “issues” at times (not diagnosed as an eating disorder, but it might should be. not sure). Anyway, I will keep you in my prayers. I am considering writing a similar post soon, and sharing some things I have learned through having trouble eating this month.

    thanks for sharing. <3 the path to healing is a long one, but it is one full of the grace and faithfulness of God

    this is a post I wrote about some of my struggles, and how God is helping me through. I hope it encourages you
    http://hopefulfuture.blogspot.com/2011/10/from-despair-to-joy.html

  26. I’m so thankful that you had the courage to share your depression journey. I struggled for years with the hopeless, helpless, I-don’t-think-I-can-do-life-anymore feelings of depression. I call it my ‘black hole’ experience because it felt like I was constantly trying to claw my way out of a deep dark hole of despair. I’m so glad that you’ve rightly concluded that it’s not a sin issue. I applaud you for doing the hard work of pressing on into His kingdom. Believe me, your story and your life are ministering to so many… for His glory. Thank you.

  27. Thank you for your courage in being real about your struggle! I saw your article on Holy Spirit Led Homeschooling’s link up today and as soon as I saw your headline, I knew God directed me to the linkup today because I haven’t visited for a while. Because I too, need to “come clean” about my own struggle with anxiety & depression.
    Like you, I have been waiting to reach the “other side” and have a story of healing to share. It’s going on 10 months for me since my first anxiety attack that sent me to the ER, and all the health issues and daily physical pain that followed, and I daily praise God that I am no longer in the pit of darkness that I was in several months ago when I hit a physical breaking point and had to go on medication. But I still struggle with daily nerve pain that are a constant reminder that my body isn’t fully recovered yet. Medication did help me early on with most of the crazy physical symptoms I was suffering from, but now I’m at a plateau where the nerve pain is still present no matter what I do to relax, simplify my schedule, etc. I am still praying for direction on what to do next, other than wait on the Lord for complete healing.
    And like you, I have been afraid to “come clean” about my struggle in any public way. I homeschool three daughters and run a homeschooling blog with my homeschooling sister & sisters in law, and so many times I start to write my “come clean” post only to delete it because I am afraid. Only a few family members & friends that pray with me know anything about it.
    I have struggled big time with shame and feeling like how could I let this “happen” to me after being such a strong, type A, firstborn, self-driven person my entire life? How did I go from being so “in control” all the time to completely no control and depending on God’s strength to navigate even the simplest daily duties? It has been such a hard time because I have felt like a complete failure, especially to my family, and I am so grateful to read your post and the comments and see that I am not alone! As much as it’s not “good” to hear that others are suffering, I am thankful to receive more inspiration and hope from the experiences of others.
    I will be praying for you too, and certainly praying for that healing and triumphant victory of arriving on the “other side” for you as well! The verse on the top of your blog is one that has been a daily, constant word of God’s truth on my lips! I pray that God will lead me in terms of my own “coming clean” when it’s time. Maybe it’s time?

  28. I have struggled with real depression off and on for years. As a Christian, I was ashamed of being depressed because Christians are supposed to have it all together, trusting God and all that, so of course I kept it hidden. When my daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer I no linger cared what other people thought of me and I felt like I had a legitimate “excuse” to be depressed. Funny thing is that being so focused on keeping my daughter alive for the past 12 years has left me no room to be depressed. I pray that you will receive the healing that God has promised you very soon and that people will be kind, compassionate, supportive, and helpful.

  29. Crystal, You are incredibly brave for sharing. Thank you for opening your heart and showing what’s really going on for you. I’d say that’s likely a very positive step in the right direction. And YOU are the exact mama and wife that God chose for your husband and your boys. Remember that.

  30. Amanda Rossman says:

    Depression and anxiety are an extremely difficult illness to deal with because from the outside, you look normal but no one can see the painful suffering inside. And if you haven’t experienced it yourself, you can’t imagine it either. I have had depression/anxiety for 3 years now and have found that I almost don’t need medicine if I eat a diet with NO refined grains/sugar, no caffeine, and no artificial sweetners. But it is hard to avoid absolutely all refined foods (I’ve even heard that kale bought at the store is dusted with corn starch). Before I was on medicine, I noticed that as soon as I ate something with refined food in it, I would first get a creepy crawly feeling on my skin and then the anxiety would start, followed by depression. I find that understanding the cycle of depression helps me deal with it, even if I can’t get rid of it completely.

    • Amanda, I’m really looking into the diet thing, because I definitely think it’s promising. My problem is that I have developed an eating disorder that makes this extremely difficult to get that under control. Thank you so much for sharing your experience because it gives me increased motivation to get on top of the diet thing.

  31. Thank you for this. I too suffer from depression. I usually get postpartum too. God has saved me from myself and I want to leave you with a great scripture. “Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my
    infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong” 2 Corinthians 12: 8-10 God bless you and he will carry you through.

    • Thank you, Amber! This is definitely one of the scriptures I cling to! Especially when people say things like “If you had more faith, you’d get over it.” I think Paul had plenty of faith…It also keeps me clinging to the fact that God has a purpose for everything that He allows in our lives. Blessings to you and thank you so much for the encouraging word!

  32. Someone please tell me that there is a victory side! I get shy about sharing my story because I don’t want to be a discouragement, I don’t want young girls to think they’re going to be my age and still struggling. I too struggle with the sin issue… if God instructs us to rejoice and have peace and I don’t, doesn’t that mean I’m “missing the mark?”

    My root problem is anxiety, so the best help is removing stress factors – not being involved in too much and not being in too many social situations. And exercise helps. But being motivated to exercise and being depressed is a nasty circle.

    I’m here from the Mommy Moments blog hop!

    • Kate, that is exactly my issue as well! I don’t want to be a downer or a discouragement and I think that’s one of the biggest reasons that I wanted to wait until healing has taken place…because then I’m just sharing the victory and not the discouragement. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and share part of your story as well.

  33. Anonymous says:

    I don’t know if its been suggested yet or not but Lemon Balm or Melissa (same plant, it just has 2 different common names) is very helpful when treating anxiety. You can buy the capsules at most health food or natural goods stores and can take up to 3 of them a day. It should cut down on that edgy anxious feeling a lot of people have. Good luck!
    See what I’m up to at: http://kshippee.blogspot.com/

  34. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog earlier and sharing your story here. It’s a lifelong battle from me too. So encouraging to hear that you are pushing through and reaching out for solutions. I use Essential Oils for my anxiety too–Young Living’s Peace and Calming is delightful! as is Lavender. And as I mentioned in my article I’ve found St Johns Wort and super-nutritional support to be VERY important!!! I hope you will keep sharing your journey with us and will stay in touch. We’ve got to be SUPER careful to NOT isolate and hide away! Hugs and prayers for your recovery and peace of mind.

  35. Depression is a nutrition/health issue. B vitamin deficiency cause all sorts of mental issues. Excess seratonin causes depression too (SAD.) Lack of potassium in our diet create blood sugar issues and irritability. (No bananas are not a good source of potassium.)

    Yes, Satan can throw garbage our way, but our ability to handle that garbage and make good decisions is greatly affected by our diet and our body’s ability to process the food we eat.

    • I agree Jenny that it’s a nutrition/health issue. Our food is so processed and even the soil it is grown in is inferior and depleted in minerals. I don’t eat anything with a barcode on it and I grow most of my own veges now.

      Also I feel I don’t have to give satan any recognition/credit as he was defeated on the cross. Jesus brought down all principalities and powers.
      Jesus is the most loving of all and the most powerful of all so we have nothing to worry about. Satan can only try to lie to us like he tried with Jesus but if we know the truth in Gods words we can just ignore the lies and garbage.
      :) Deb

    • 2 Thessalonians 3:3 NKJV
      New King James Version
      But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one

  36. I just found your blog today and almost cried reading your post,because I can relate to it so much.Thank you for sharing.Hope God will give you deliverance .I am so much better than years ego I never took any medicine for it,just with Gods help.God bless you .

  37. Hi Just found your blog- wanted to comment on the side of victory! I suffered from depression/anxiety eating disorders since I was in high school (14 + years ago). I can’t say that I am 100%, but I am definitly worlds away from where I was. My heart goes out to you. Sometimes a combination of treatments is what you need- I know I was not always open to medication, but look at it this way – if you had diabetes , you would take insulin.. Anyway, through a combo of medicine, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and lifestyle changes, I really can say I feel good. Good luck on your journey, and also Pray, pray pray.
    Kate

    • Kate, thanks so much for sharing your story with me! I appreciate that :) I am not against medications, just wary of the side effects. Thanks again for your encouraging words!

      • Please email me if you ever want to talk further side effects are a serious concern- for me to be able to be a competent parent I just needed medication. I won’t deny sometimes I feel guilty and that it is a crutch- but reading my bible has been a great help. I also want to commend you for sharing, so often I feel ashamed to admit I have these problems. Let me also tell you that from your blog I think you are beautiful and so are your children!
        – kate

        • Kate, thank you so much for the offer! I might do that. I don’t think you should feel guilty for taking meds at all! It’s just something that I would like to avoid for several reasons. Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement…they are very appreciated.

  38. Vanessa Davies says:

    We've found the following things helpful for depression:
    – Omega 3.
    – St John's Wort.
    – Rest (if possible).

    They don't help everybody, but they do help some. And they don't cause harm.
    I'm praying for you. Thank you for your honesty,

  39. I agree with Vanessa. Omega 3 and St. John’s Wort.
    Thank you for sharing. Thank you.
    Patricia

  40. Julie B. says:

    Thank you for writing such an authentic post. The sentence about using every ounce of your energy daily to not the illness win are the exact words I have spoken myself countless times,yet have never been validated to have someone describe feeling the same way!! As for natural treatment,vitamin d has also been shown to be vital for all of our chemicals to be balanced. Blessings to you,my sister in Christ!!

    • Crystal says:

      Oh, Julie! I understand needing that validation, but I’m sorry for your sake that you can relate. I pray that God will continue to move in your situation and help you toward complete deliverance from depression. Thank you for the tip about Vitamin D.

  41. Hi Crystal, my son got me onto green smoothies about 8 months ago. Spinach, sprouts, banana, whole mandarine with skin on, apple, pear, berries, almonds, oat bran, honey, carrot etc., etc., throw whatever you want in the blender, the recipe is never the same. We have this for breakfast each morning and my days of chronic fatigue and feeling overwhelmed by everything are a thing of the past. Within days I could feel the difference.
    I Also get out in the sun in the mornings for Vitamin D and also because depression is often worse in the mornings.
    I have started a vege garden and grow my own spinach, bok choi & celery for my smoothies as well as all my other herbs and veges for salads etc. It’s easy to grow sprouts too in a glass botle.
    I bought some old battery farm chickens and it’s been a delight to see them have a second chance in life, I can relate to how they are feeling as I really thought after 20years of struggling I had lost hope of life being any different for me :)
    My health is better now than it was 20 years ago when I was first hospitalised for major depression so don’t waste 20 years struggling like I did, Give it a go.
    The smoothies give you so much energy and you don’t even feel hungry for the rest of the day and is the perfect quick power pill to start your day.
    (I have read that depression is oftens linked to hypoglycaemia) and Vit D deficiency as well Julie on the previous post mentioned.
    God has provided the perfect pill. Good nutrition, exercise and sunshine.
    You are not alone.
    Deb

  42. Thanks Crystal. Social anxiety is often linked to depression so being able to share with each other and be accepted is vital for our healing process. I haven’t been to church for years because of my anxiety amongst people so thank you for sharing yourself with us.
    I also don’t see this illness as a sin. We are saved by Grace and and we are transformed by Grace. Everyone is a sinner and falls short of Gods holiness.

  43. Look into the GAPs diet. I have information at my website http://www.purposefulnutrition.com. It is possible to heal by healing the gut, as depression is something linked to gut health.

Trackbacks

  1. […] I really didn’t have anything good to say.  Granted, I was at a low point in my struggle with depression, but the fact remains that I have done few positive things with my life since then.  […]

  2. […] Fear holds us back. Doubt and insecurity hold us back. Feelings of inadequacy hold us back. […]

  3. […] post is an honest assessment of living with […]

  4. […] it reminded me of something important–we’re all hiding brokenness of some […]

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