Discipline Day 10-11: Catch Up

Self-discipline Challenge

Okay, here’s the thing. First of all, I have to admit that I’m not used to writing on my blog 7 days a week.  I generally write M-F and take off the weekends. So, I’m sure that burnout (from writing everyday) is hitting me right now. Also, I’ve found that the better I’m doing with being productive with other things, the less desire I have to do computer things. Which, I consider a personal success since the internet is one of my big stumbling blocks.

I want to apologize to everyone who was relying on me to post the challenges each day.  

I have been continuing on in the challenge (and trying to get ready for my graduate comps, and homeschool, and about 12 other things)…so, at least I have that.

Here are the catch up days:

Day 10: Find a Cheerleader.
I touched on this on a previous day, but I really don’t have people in my life to hold me accountable. And since I moved recently, that is even harder to find. So, I’m not really sure what I can do for this one. But, I do agree with Crystal that it’s important. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 talks about this–there is strength in numbers! Crystal says:

You can’t do this discipline thing alone. Well, you can, but I guarantee you it will be a lot harder to keep at it if you don’t have anyone encouraging you along the way. When you have someone willing to check in with you, you gain a major advantage.

My husband is one of the “softies” that she talks about. He is very supportive, but doesn’t work so great as a cheerleader/accountability partner.

However, I do have to say that with this blog I am in a unique position of having a lot of support and accountability from you guys, and I greatly appreciate that!  There were days when I stuck with the challenge only because I knew I was going to have to come back here and report.  And, there were days when I stuck with it only because of the encouragement you guys gave me (like with the working out thing). Thank you for being my cheerleader in this! It is much appreciated.

Day 11: Finding an Accountability Partner

Crystal acknowledges that there are probably a lot of people, like me, who want an accountability partner but don’t have one and can’t really find one.  She advises that you start with local family, friends, church members, etc. But if you can’t find someone in real life, head to your online communities.

She does offer a word of caution:

One caution about joining an online support group: make sure that the group is not too big. Otherwise, it will be too easy for you to slip in and slip out unnoticed. If the group is large, see if there’s one person within the group who is also searching for an
accountability partner. There is just something special about one-to-one accountability.

I have been searching for this very thing for a long time. For friendship, fellowship, accountability.  And I have been unsuccessful. But, while I was at Allume, I was blessed to attend tea with Sally Clarkson. During this great talk, she spoke of forming a community around herself. She said that when she started out, she didn’t know anyone, and she just slowly started inviting people over, etc. I went to her in tears, saddened by my own lack of community and feeling like I’m hitting a wall at every turn.

She looked at me, and gave a sad shake of her head and said, “Keep trying, honey. It took me 3 years.”

But during her talk that morning, I was motivated and inspired to keep reaching out, in spite of rejections. I still haven’t found a community of friends here, but I’m feeling better about the situation, more hopeful.

Do you have a support system and encourager/accountability partner in your life?  What are your tips for someone who is searching for that.

Comments

  1. says

    I wondered about the lack of posts, but I did the same thing! http://monicaberry.blogspot.com/2012/11/days-10-11-non-updates.html
    My best friend & I are trying to be accountability partners for each other, but we're both kinda softies when it comes to that. My hubby generally is, too. I didn't really ask him to be an accountability partner, but I have talked to him about the challenge. I wish I had more of a following on my blog, but I know the way to do that is to reach out & follow other blogs more closely… & I, too, struggle with the computer time-sink, so I'm hesitant to add anything more to what I feel obligated to do on the computer! :P

    • Crystal says

      Jenny, this is so true! Finding the right person for that accountability and encouragement for your journey can make all the difference.

  2. says

    I am so glad to hear that is was just business with life and accomplishment that kept you off line. Keep striving for that community. It has taken me two years to begin to build a small circle about me, but those ladies are truly of God and I would not want any other to be my support system and fellow laborers for the Lord.
    Anyway, I stuck with it these last two days. Been enjoying the success of my Mega project so much that I am ready for the next day before it is even here.
    My life hack is slow, but continue progress is made. Some progress is better than no progress. I can't move this mountain in one day, but will battle from day to day. (the mountain being me in the bed, and not motivated to get up @ 4:30am).
    My small project is going well, despite what the scale says. Today hubby encouraged me with a little variety and we went for a walk. We were able to get in some one-one time, which is rare these days. That helped make the work out more doable.
    Thanks for being so transparent. We often forget that others struggle just as we do. Keep your eyes on Him and He will sustain and strengthen you.

    • Crystal says

      Thanks so much for the encouragement, Coreen! I definitely need to have more patience with the whole Christian fellowship and community thing. I’m so glad that you have stuck with the challenge :) I’ve experienced the same thing..I’m so gung ho about being productive that I have to force myself to sit down at the computer, which is a welcome change.

      So glad your hubby encouraged you today. sometimes that makes all the difference. Don’t worry about what the scale says! If you’re eating better and/or working out and having healthy habits, you’ll feel better and the results on your health will be worth it. I can definitely tell a negative difference in the way that I feel since I fell off track.

  3. lvg4him says

    I think you are doing great! I too am glad to know your lack of posts were just a weekends off thing. And to know that you are being productive and that is keeping you busy and not wanting to be on the computer. That too is a good thing! :D And I am glad that this blog is a source of cheer leading and accountability for you. I know it isn’t quite the same as an in real life person. It took me a few years to find people in real life that are good butt-kickers and iron sharpeners and cheerleaders. :D thanks for playing catch up! I posted on my FB for day 10 and 11.

    I look forward to you posting a day 12. :D thank you for this challenge. It really has been eye opening and life changing for me. So many times I buy a book saying I will read it and do it, and rarely do. I fact, I might not have ever read this book (even though I bought it) if it were not for you doing this challenge. So thank you! I have learned so much to help me AND my children.

  4. says

    My husband is a softie as well, Crystal. I’m wondering what you expect from an encourager. How would that relationship look to you? I’ve often wondered if my expectations are too high. I would like more than just the meet-and-greet at church or a shared church-wide function on occasion. I’ve noticed, both in real life and on blogs, that some people seem to be surrounded by a gaggle of close friends and encouragers and some people aren’t. Quite frankly, it reminds me of high school — standing on the outside watching all the popular people have friends. (I know it sounds like one of your prior blog posts. We have had similar experiences in life.) So, like from the quote, I’m heading to the online communities. I feel like I’m saying too much here, but I’m going to hit Post Comment anyway. :)

    • Crystal says

      Not too much at all, Meghan! I completely agree. Sometimes, I’m sure that my expectations are too high. But then I catch a glimpse of what it is I’m wanting and I see that it really does exist after all…lol. I agree though that it seems that in real life and on blogs some people are surrounded by a supportive community while others aren’t….and I agree it is like high school! lol. But, just like anything else, I believe that God can use it for good. And while there are certainly times where I get discouraged by the lack of Christian fellowship and community (and just close friends in general) in my life, there are also some “good” things because I feel like that makes me more drawn to reach out to others who might be in that same situations.

    • Crystal says

      Forgot the encourager part. I think for me it’s just mostly someone to be there. Back in the spring I was walking every day with another girl, and just knowing that I was meeting her made me guaranteed to go. I never missed a day of working out. So, I think just encouraging, holding accountable. But I think it’s best for that to be a mutual relationship, too so that I can do the same for someone else? I don’t know. Maybe I need to think about that myself, but like you say, definitely deeper than a meet-and-greet at church or an occasional church-wide function.

  5. says

    I think it’s tough for anyone to find community/make close friends/find good accountability. It sounds like you’re on the right track. It took probably a couple years after I moved to really get close to people. Personally, I think it’s easiest to start out with one person. Ask them to do something with you and then try to open up some.

  6. Kay Vanatta says

    Oh I so understand this issue! Thank you for the encouragement to keep looking and gathering people around me for accountability!

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