Today started out in defeat. I guess it really started before that, with a few nights of little sleep. And then yesterday. The day started off wonderfully, with a 2.5 mile walk with my new friend Michelle, and we prayed for peace in our homes. We prayed for our husbands to be the leaders that God has called them to be and for us to be the wives that he has called us to be.
Then the day happened, culminating in an argument with my husband last night. A big one, over nothing. There was frustration and raised voices. Well, let’s just call it what it is–there was yelling on both sides.
And so I awoke this morning feeling defeated. Because how could I let that happen? I was walking alone this morning, so I decided to pray while I walked.
Except I couldn’t. I pray and I plan and I plan and I pray, yet my failures and hang ups remain. And I thought, how can I come to God with this same problem, confessing the very same sins yet again. And the only words that would come to my lips were “God, I am not worthy to even come before you when I keep failing at the same things over and over. I’m not even worthy to talk to you.”
And immediately, God in His sweet mercy brought the above verse to my mind…Let us come boldly before the throne of grace. (Hebrews 4:16)
The truth is, I am unworthy. The Bible makes that abundantly clear, but in Romans 3:10, we’re told specifically that there is no one who is righteous. We are not worthy to be in the presence of God, or to fellowship with Him
And we have an accuser. Satan would love for you to give up and stop trying. He would love for you to allow the weight of your sin and condemnation to drive you away from the Father.
But we can’t let that happen. And we don’t have to, because we also have a redeemer. We have a mediator, who intercedes and advocates so that we can have the privilege of talking to God. I don’t have to bear the weight of my sin. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t try, because we should. God’s word calls us to holiness and sanctification. But when we fail, God’s word says that there is mercy:
For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
I pray that you would let His grace and mercy wash over you today, driving out the condemnation that the enemy heaps upon you, and entering into His presence, boldly.
Do you ever feel condemnation rising up in your spirit? How do you overcome it?