No Drama Mama: Examine Your Heart

No Drama Mama

We’re looking at how to live a drama-free life in this series. Last week, we talked about minding your own business.

Many times when I engage in drama, it’s because I feel that myself or my values have been attacked or misunderstood. And I need to defend myself. The truth is—it doesn’t matter if Susie thinks that I’m depriving my kids of their childhood because we don’t do Santa, or if Jane thinks that we’re permanently damaging them if they wear hand-me-down shoes, or if random commenter thinks I must be forsaking my children’s spiritual health by allowing to play with the neighbor kids, when she doesn’t even know the details.

It just doesn’t matter. It’s not worth the argument. And, it doesn’t in any way affect my life, unless I allow it to through engaging in the drama..

And so we need to examine our hearts and motivation. I love Paul’s steps through this in 2 Timothy 2:23-26.

Avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.

Father, forgive me for the strife that I have helped create through these disputes.  Just don’t do it. Nothing good comes from it.

But then Paul takes it a step further, reminding us in verse 24 what a Christian should be.

A servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, humble.

Am I exhibiting any of those qualities when I engage in useless drama on facebook, blogs, twitter, or in person? No.

I’m an insecure person, and maybe that is what drives me to defend myself and my family’s choices. It’s born of a need to be validated, to be seen as right, or even just to have the other party understand my point of view. But it serves no kingdom purpose. In fact, it tears people down, including myself. I repeat: Nothing good comes from it.

Finally, in verses 25-26, Paul tells us what we should do instead:

in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.

This verse gives me a heavy heart. I’ve already told you what my motivation usually is in these discussions—to be right, to be validated, to be understood, or to expose what I believe is erroneous thinking. But at the end of the day, it’s all selfish. The only acceptable motivation is to save someone’s soul.

A great question to ask yourself before engaging in a debate or heated discussion—is what I’m about to say going to lead this person closer to Christ? More times than not, the answer is no. And in that case, I believe we’d be better off to follow Paul’s advice in 2 Thess 4:11 and lead a quiet life, working with our hands and minding our own business. I am so thankful for the Lord’s gentle tugging in my spirit lately—nudging me to release the anger, give it over to Him, and focus on my own life and not the strife around me.


Is what I’m about to say going to lead someone closer to Christ? (<–Tweet This)

Being “right” in an argument serves no kingdom purpose (<–Tweet This)



  1. says

    Thank you, Crystal! This topic was really brought home to me the ONE TIME I posted something on facebook of a quasi-political nature. My post had to do with the fact that whoever is elected to whatever office, we have a God who is bigger than ALL this, and that to spend time worrying and wrangling over it was a waste of my time and peace of mind. I was promptly jumped on that we MUST worry about all this, and that I was wrong to think we SHOULDN’T! LOL Needless to say, I deleted that post . . .

  2. says

    Thank you Crystal! I felt like you were writing to me! I feel the same way about trying to make others see my side when they hurt me. Facebook is the worst for me. It hurts so bad to read things that I know are about me and not respond. I'm praying hard for help with this. Your post really opened my eyes and has helped me so much! I can't thank you enough! I hope now I will be able to let the drama pass me by! :)

  3. says

    Is what I’m about to say going to lead someone closer to Christ? <— I love that. I can definitely relate to wanting to defend myself for being misunderstood. :-) Love this post and your heart on this!

  4. says

    Yes, so true! And I find that, even in my home, much drama can be eliminated if I give careful consideration to making sure my rock solid stands have to do with God’s Word and are not just coming from my own opinionated self :)

  5. says

    Excellent, Crystal! Sometimes I am amazed what people will find to argue about! I will put a post on my facebook page that I think is innocent, and occasionally I will have people who will turn it into a political argument or blaming someone for something.

    Just yesterday someone was at my house and they have a different viewpoint then I do about something and they wanted to argue about it. I told them “I won’t discuss this with you” because it would have been a pointless discussion and they were determined to argue, lol! I just saw no point in wasting either of our time! Thanks for linking up to “Making Your Home Sing Monday!”

    • Crystal says

      You’re absolutely right, it’s just a waste of time and energy…but sometimes we are still determined to do it.

I love to hear your feedback and value your thoughts! All I ask is that we remain respectful and civil, even when we disagree. Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate you!

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