31 Days of Loving my Husband {Intentionally}

31 Days of Loving My Husband Intentionally by Serving Joyfully

Get the book that was inspired by this challenge, Intentional Marriage: The Art of Loving Your Husband or get the Kindle Version.

Like I mentioned in my 5 Ways to Ruin a Good Marriage post, I think the biggest threat to marriages is not infidelity or any of the “big” stuff. It’s the daily neglect.

It’s getting so lost in the mundane that we forget to make time for being intentional about our marriages. Because it has to be intentional. So often, we think that we will do something if the opportunity presents itself. But sometimes it doesn’t. Or sometimes, we miss it.

When we stop trying, we start drifting apart.

We get caught up in the busyness of life.

We get selfish.

We get thoughtless.

We get prideful and entitled and start to focus on the ways our spouse isn’t doing this or that…or maybe is doing this or that annoying thing.

Slowly, one day at a time we can reach a crisis point in our marriage, just by {not} doing the small things. But it’s so easy to turn it all around. All it takes is just a little bit of thought. A little bit of active love. A little bit of being intentional.

So, that’s my challenge for this 31 days series. It’s a challenge to myself and to all of you because I hope you’ll join me. A challenge to love my husband intentionally for the next 31 days.

The Challenge

I’ve confided in you all before that I’m not so faithful in the follow through. I’m scared of promising to blog about this for 31 straight days. So, I’m going to do things a bit differently. I’m going to be utilizing my facebook page. Go ahead and follow me there if you haven’t already, so you won’t miss anything.

Everyday, I’m going to share a challenge. Some might be small or big, but I’m going to share something that I will be doing that day to love on my husband and encourage you to do the same. You don’t have to complete all of my challenges or suggestions. Maybe there is something else you’d like to do instead.

The specifics aren’t as important as the heart behind it.

The idea is simply that you do something intentional to love on your husband every single day for the next 31 days.

And then? Don’t stop. They say it takes 28 days to make something a habit. So keep it going. Keep looking for little ways to bless your spouse every single day.

And you know what? I’m guessing you’ll be blessed by that. Probably in ways you won’t even expect, because that tends to happen when we selflessly love others.

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. -1 John 3:18

Get the book!

I was so inspired by this 31 day challenge, that I expanded it and made it into a book. Check it out

Intentional Marriage Cover 3D 200 px


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 Now I need your ideas!
What are your best ideas for ways to love your husband intentionally?


  1. Anonymous says

    Looking forward to it. My husband has been so good to me for the 20 years we’ve known each other, the 18 years we’ve been together and the 16 years we’ve been married. I want to make sure he knows I appreciate him.

  2. LadyNicole Nikki P says

    Wow! this is great. I’d also like to get through the book “the husband project” *sigh* maybe after this semester. I hope you make posts here too as I try to avoid FB

    • Crystal Brothers says

      Nikki, thanks so much for your support :) I will be sharing the daily challenges on my blog after all. I’m still undecided if they will all be here, or if I will create a separate post just for the challenges, but for now the first day has been added to this post.

  3. Florence says

    I’m looking forward to this challenge – my husband needs lots of encouragement these days, so I’m going to try to come up with some new things!! :)

  4. says

    I cant wait to read all of your ideas and give them a go! I love sneaking a little treat or love/appreciation note into my husbands work lunch for him to find during the day. Sometimes I sneak into our bathroom before he gets up and leave a little message for him on the shower screen or mirror. :)

  5. says

    Great timing! My hubby of 23+ years and I are in a “neglected” patch these days. Too much time spent on life and days with our 17yo daughter with moderate cerebral palsy. Looking forward to some inspiration. Personally, I think it’s all in the really small stuff — inflection of the voice, eye contact, facial expression. Then the small stuff like little RAOK and dropping expectations. Wish you and your marriage well!

  6. says

    This is going to be a good series! We’re celebrating our 13th anniversary soon, and it does get difficult through the struggles and the daily challenges if you don’t stay intentional. Looking forward to following along. ~ Stephanie (from #inspiredbn!)

  7. Jennifer Jarrell says

    I agree…I find my self getting wrapped up with the kids and house duties along with running every where that by the end of the day I feel like I have nothing left to give to my husband. I will take this challenge with you :) thanks so much for this great idea..

  8. says

    I love this and I need this reminder. My trouble is not the welcoming him when I’ve had a stressful day, it’s when HE has and he comes home grumpy and complaining about something in the house that seems like it is directed at me. What’s hard for me is to not get upset and back up and see what HE needs. Probably for me to be calm and loving and just that alone could turn his mood around. But I have to REMEMBER that, ha! And I love the term “active love.” That makes perfect sense to me. I’m looking forward to this series.

    • Crystal Brothers says

      Thanks, Elizabeth! I hope you’ll join in on the challenges, and feel free to pop over to my facebook page and join the conversation–let us know how it’s going for you, and share ideas :)

  9. says

    Best ways to love my husband intentionally (I’m reminding myself to do these :): give him extra pockets of time to sneak in a work out, ask him if he needs anything from the store, buy him something small but special at the grocery store a new nutritional product/drink I saw and thoguht he’d like, etc. make “extra” time at night :) tell the kids how amazing daddy when he’s gone AND right in front of him! on and on I should go…

  10. Amber Lyda says

    The advice isn't bad but it is so bound up in traditional gender roles, it hurts. "When he comes home from work" as if the woman is never the one working outside of the house. Or, "do more than your normal housework", as if it is always the woman doing the housework…it just makes this advice difficult to generalize to the majority of people today. Nevermind the assumption of heterosexuality in the language of the article.

    • Crystal Brothers says

      Amber, I shortened the bolded part so that it would be short and sweet. I would encourage you to read the entire challenge for each day and not just that part, so that you can get a better idea of each day’s challenge. The first statement of the “When he comes home from work” part actually says this: “Greet your spouse with a smile when he comes home from work (or when you come home from work, however that might work out).” Furthermore, doing more than your normal housework isn’t really about gender roles. It’s about going above and beyond whatever it is you are doing, to do something solely for the purpose of serving your husband. My husband actually does help out with housework. The point wasn’t supposed to be the “housework,” the point was just to do something above and beyond whatever your normal is. If your normal is that your husband does all the housework, then it might be easy for you to choose one thing to do to serve him.

      And, my blog is clearly, overtly, and unapologetically written from a Christian perspective, and I have no desire to change that. The beautiful thing about the blogging world is that there really is something for everyone :)

      • Chris says

        I love this kind, and clear reply. I’m here on your site for the first time, coming in from the Ultimate Bundle. It’s a beautiful thing to be clearly, overtly, and unapologetically Christian. Excellent.

  11. Melissa Perry Kreisl says

    Uhg…Anton used to stay at home and take care of Josie while I worked. I'd argue he was better at it than I am.

  12. says

    Thanks Crystal for your challenge. This is so needed in the best and hardest of marriages and if women will just realize that it will help when things are difficult and also when everything is going great (and keep it from going sour) they will be on the right path. Thanks too for your linkup party. I started over there, lol.

    • Crystal Brothers says

      Thank you! I completely agree that if we would keep being intentional during the great times of marriage, there would be less hard times. Thanks so much for your encouragement :)

    • Crystal Brothers says

      Renae, thanks so much for your interest! The full, detailed list of challenges and devotions that accompany them are available in the book, along with some other things.

  13. Anonymous says

    Hi Crystal I was wondering if the Love your husband intentionally challenge is still available on your blog or facebook? I cant seem to find it. Thanks

    • Crystal Brothers says

      The entire challenge was hosted on my facebook page, which was great at the time but turned out to be not so great for future use! So, I put it all together in book format and you can find that here: https://amzn.to/2QjvIas

I love to hear your feedback and value your thoughts! All I ask is that we remain respectful and civil, even when we disagree. Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate you!

Thank you for joining in the discussion!