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I’ve shared with you before that I struggle with depression. The thing is that no matter how many times I say it, most people, they don’t get it. They hear the words, but they don’t know what it really means. When I wrote that first post last year, confessing my struggle, I was in the midst of a very, very tough time. It would get worse before it got better, and it would be the deepest, darkest valley I have gone through.
I have what they call dysthymia, which basically means that the depression (and all it’s symptoms) is always there. In addition to this chronic depression, I also suffer from bouts of severe depression.
I can’t really put to words all of the challenges, but it is a debilitating disease, as much as any physical illness is. It affects every area of my life. And one of my biggest regrets regarding depression is the effect it has on my family, particularly my children.
For an extended period of time last fall, winter, and spring, there was no break. No moments of lucidity. Just a long string of very, very bad days.
I want to tell you today about a bright spot that happened in the midst of all those bad days.
You’ve probably noticed that I talk a lot about Kiwi Crate. I mention them every chance I get because I think it’s such a great company. You can see all my reasons why here, but in a nutshell– the kits are affordable, you can get add-on materials for additional children, the activities are interactive and educational, etc. The list goes on.
However, as I mentioned in my review, with a budget as tight as ours, even $19.99/month is a splurge. And, I’m a big DIY crafter, so pre-made craft kits might not be what you’d expect me to be all about.
But, there was something I didn’t share in that first post about Kiwi Crate back in the spring.
We received our crate in the midst of that very deep, dark time. When my depression was worse than ever and I could barely motivate myself to do the essential things. When I lived in survival mode.
And when laughter and organized fun was in short supply at our house.
My boys begged to do the project, and I kept putting them off, because even as simple as it was, it was just too much energy. More than I had at that time. Finally, I got up one morning and told them we’d do it that day.
That afternoon, light broke through the darkness for us.
In the midst of some of the worst days I have ever experienced, we had this one. good. day.
And that’s why I love Kiwi Crate. Because right in the middle of the horrible thing that is depression–the sadness, the despair, the lack of energy and motivation, the absence of any good feeling. We had that one good day.
If you’re struggling in the midst of this pinterest-driven holiday season, full of perfect projects that you’d love to do with your kids but just don’t have the energy or time for any of it, don’t try to do it all–just do what you can.
Maybe you suffer from depression, like me. Maybe you suffer from another chronic illness. Maybe you’re suffering from burnout and stress from too many things on your to-do list or too few dollars in your bank account.
Maybe you’re like me and have seen too few of those good days lately.
These crates are a simple way to add some light and laughter back in. Every single thing you need is provided for you. All you have to do is open up the box and be present with your children while they play. That’s it. And, there are many great options. You can get a subscription which comes with free shipping, or you can choose from a variety of single crates as well.
Whatever it is, if you’re in a dark place for any reason, I pray that you can find some light in the midst of it.
If you are in a dark place today, I invite you to contact me. I would love to pray with you. That verse way up top is a source of encouragement to me in the darkest days as well. A reminder that His glory transcends every thing this world can bring me, including depression. I pray you have that same assurance.