I have a confession to make. I am a bully.
You see, sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I say things that only a bully would say.
You’re never going to be successful at anything, so you might as well quit trying.
You’re too fat.
No one likes you.
You’re not a good wife. You’re not a good mother. Your family deserves better than you.
You have nothing to offer anyone.
You are worthless.
I know that depression plays a part in my bullying. But I also know it’s more than that. Because I know that many of you suffer from the same problem. I have talked to many women over the years and I have found some of the most beautiful, capable, talented, amazing women who battle negative self-talk everyday. Maybe you’re one of the. Maybe you believe the lies that Satan tells you.
You judge yourself too harshly, and you speak negative words and harsh criticisms to yourself, saying things that you would never say to anyone else.
So why, precious friend, do you say those things to yourself?
This post is not about glorifying the mess. It’s not about brushing our faults under the rug and pretending they don’t exist. It’s about treating ourselves with dignity, respect, and just a little grace and kindness.
It’s about building up instead of tearing down. Yes, I need to lose a few pounds (okay, I need to lose a lot of pounds to get back down to a healthy weight range). But tearing myself down doesn’t accomplish that.
This post is also not about being proud, or having a haughty opinion of yourself. Because I don’t believe that insecurity is the same as humility. In fact, I think insecurity looks a lot more like pride when you get down to the nitty gritty.
It’s not even about having so much grace that you accept your sins and faults without trying to change them. There are things you need to work on to get closer to the person God has created you to be. I can say that with assurance because none of us are perfect. We are all works in progress.
Basically, I just want us all to remember who we are, and be a little kinder to ourselves.
Will you join me? Maybe some of you don’t struggle with this. But for some of you, I know it will be hard to break those habits. But you have to.
When those negative, harmful thoughts cross your mind, respond with scripture. You can find a great list here. Respond with truth. Remember things you are good at, because struggling with some things doesn’t make you a total failure. Respond with action steps that you can take to start fixing said problem.
Again, I don’t want you to celebrate your faults and sins. That’s not what this is about. I just want you to give yourself the grace, kindness, and gentle push in the right direction that you’d give anyone else.
Whatever you do, stop beating yourself up. Stop tearing yourself down. Stop being a bully.
Because those harmful, negative thoughts will impact your life, your relationships, and your children.
You are loved and valued by an almighty God.
PS–If you battle with these types of negative thoughts, check out this free video series with 10 great truths you need to remember on the bad days.