What do you do when you’ve tried and failed 100 times?

Get Healthy

I’ve been staring at the screen for an exorbitant amount, because I just don’t know how to say this, yet again. {sigh}

My battle with my weight started later in life, 8-9 years ago, but it has been getting progressively worse over the past 4 years as my depression and emotional eating have both worsened. I’ve even written about it here, so much that I’m sure you are all quite tired of reading about me and my weight loss saga.

When I started thinking seriously about trying this thing yet again, someone very important to me said the following, “You’ve already tried a hundred times and it hasn’t stuck.

And trust me, I get it. No one feels the weight of those failures as much as I do. {pun intended}

A habit of falling off the wagon.

I lost 9 pounds and gained back 20.

I’ve lost 22 pounds and gained back 30 lbs.

I have bought (and sold after I didn’t use them!) a wii fit system, a rip off second-hand machine from craigslist, and a $300 elliptical. I have purchased multiple workout videos.  I have tried weight watchers (a $200 investment back when they did an online program), and much more.

I have tried a real food diet, which didn’t work because I fell of the wagon. I have tried to read and blog through the Made to Crave book, but I couldn’t stick with that either. And I have prayed…oh, how I have prayed.

Basically, the person above is right.  I have tried and failed.

Over. And over. And Over. So many times that I have lost count.

And so, the question… What do you do when you have already tried and failed countless times?

I have agonized over this question, more with each failure.  And, honestly, I don’t have an answer. If there were some magic way to find the will and ability to do this, I would do it.

But I do know one thing. There are really only two options. Keep trying, or give up.

That’s it. Even if I fail over and over and over, I have to keep trying. I can’t give up. Even if it means more failures, more humiliation each time. Even though I feel more and more like I am losing hope…. the only option besides trying again and again is to completely give up and I just can’t do that.

I’ve said before that I feel like this is a spiritual battle as well as a physical one. If I give up, the devil wins. And I refuse to do that. I refuse.

So…here I go again. Trying, yet again to get my food issues and weight problems under control.

Please pray for me! Because sometimes it feels like I can’t conquer this particular foe. But I know that’s not true. I am more than a conqueror. That is God’s truth. And I pray it will speak into my heart more loudly than any discouragement Satan tries to speak into it.

Comments

  1. says

    I know I haven't been the most encouraging person in this, and that is my failure as a husband. I am in love with you and in hurts me to see you struggle with this. I want you to succeed at this for all the above reasons, but most of all so we can overcome satan together as a family.

    • Kelley LeFort says

      Oh my dear friend, I “stumbled’ upon your site, well we both know it wasn’t just a coincidence. I too have struggled with my weight and self image along with the roller coaster of depression and emotional eating. I too couldn’t stick with “made to crave”. Although I tried, I have done all the diets and spent thousands on equipment, that I promised to use only to end up selling it. I live in Hawaii where I was raised actually Maui and my family is here. My parents and one of my brothers are obese with all of the health issues that come with that. My dad actually weighs 409 lbs. My husband and I have a new little guy who is 2 years old now as well as our 25 and 23 year old, they both live in Louisiana. I just wanted to tell you a little bit about myself. Crystal, you are fearfully and wonderfully made and the God that we serve is bigger than any of our weight struggles. I have even damaged my body by binging and then throwing it all up, or using laxatives…… I feel your pain, I know where you are. I just wanted to tell you that if for one second you think you are alone YOU ARE NOT. You are loved and you are not alone. Most of all if you are feeling defeated, just remember that God has already won. The enemy has lost. If you get a chance visit Helen’s site. It was an encouragement to me. Please email me and I would love to keep in touch. I will be praying for you.
      Kelleylefort@gmail.com

      Micah 7:7-8 (AMP)
      “But as for me, I will look to the Lord and confident in Him I will keep watch; I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. Rejoice not against me, O my enemy! When I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light to me.”

      http://www.eatingsdisorders.com It is a great site with lots of information and encouragement.

  2. Anonymous says

    What a neat concept–I am doing a facebook weight loss challenge right now where ladies put money into the pot and have to post their weight once a week for a certain amount of time. I did one and I lost 15 lbs by doing something similar to the south beach diet and doing circuit workouts at home: jumping jacks, burpees, push ups etc. . I had to do them 6 days a week and several a day to really get the fat off and build the muscle…(but I'm almost 50, it gets harder!! ) I hope this goes well for you. Don't skip on the workouts. Building muscle does burn more fat and it does change your whole body. I have an injury right now and I am limited on what I can do and it is frustrating.

  3. Amie Puckett Adams says

    I've done Zeal. My cancer doctor told me to stay on it. I've been on it for over a year and love it! Send me an email for more informat

  4. Linda says

    I hear your pain. You are correct in saying there are two options…to keep trying or giving up. So keep trying! I’m not sure if you have ever tried Overeaters Anonymous. If you go to their website,you can see if there are any meetings near you. There is a great deal of information there. It’s not a diet (you can follow any food plan you desire), the program helps deal with everything else.

  5. says

    I’m definitely in the same boat! I’ve tried countless times only to fail. I’ve tried so many different things so many times. The strange thing is that there are so many things in life that I have succeeded at doing – even hard things requiring lots of discipline, but the food arena gets me every time. Right now I’m on a brief reprieve from trying since I’m pregnant (and somehow have managed to only a tiny bit during my pregnancy – go figure), but I’m sort of dreading having to try again after the baby arrives.

  6. Beth Cranford says

    Crystal, you're exactly right, the only thing you can do is keep trying! Never give up. I believe you can do this. I can't wait to hear your big announcement when you win your prize. And it's more than the money, it's winning this battle that is going to be so amazing. Praying for you sweet friend!
    (You still might want to take a look at that book I told you about.)

    • Crystal Brothers says

      Yes, it’s definitely more than the money. Thank you for your encouragement, sweet friend!

  7. Regina Merrick says

    You can do this, Crystal. I saw something (probably on Pinterest! LOL) the other day that said something like – “Stop dieting and just be healthy.” I think the word DIET is part of the problem. I know I get defensive every time I see it. As Garfield so eloquently put it, “DIET is DIE, with a T.” I love that you said it was also a spiritual problem. For me, it’s one of those strongholds. One of those, “I don’t need anybody to tell me what to do” issues, and that’s just wrong on my part. I desperately need GOD to tell me what to do, and furthermore, I need to LISTEN. That’s the hard part!

  8. Sally Webster says

    I’m a long time reader but don’t comment very often. I love this idea of making it a contest and I wish you the best of luck. You’re absolutely right. No matter how many times you fail, you can’t give up. Prayers for your success.

  9. Deborah Brothers says

    You know this already and I know you aren't asking for advice. So don't take this as advice! Baby steps, Crystal. Drink a glass of water when you first get up in the morning. Do it every morning for 30 days and then it's a habit. But after the first week or so, add in a glass of water before you eat a meal. If you use sugar, reduce it by 1/4 or 1/3. Do it for 30 days and it's a habit. Gradually start lowering the amount more. Soon your tastes will change. You can do it with every few weeks, adding in something new (like another piece of fruit or another vegetable serving) or taking something away (like half a piece of bread as opposed to a whole piece). You are not on a diet. You are not failing at anything. You are succeeding at being aware that you want to be healthier. Tell yourself that when you fall off the wagon, you can get right back on that wagon, even if it's just by grabbing onto the wheel! I'm rooting for us all!

  10. says

    Crystal – Your transparency in this is quite admirable and I really appreciate the spirit you have in keeping on with such a hard challenge. This is not an easy thing, by any means…. no matter what the core issue is…….and there can be many – health can also be a big one…. hormone issues, thyroid, etc. I hope you do well, but whether you make it to your goal weight, I hope you do become healthier and that you see some great success…… and getting to your goal weight would be wonderful too! :) I will pray for you. May God bless you with a close walk with Him and a change in your body. Thank you for posting this. :)

    • Crystal Brothers says

      Thank you so much for your kind words! Yes, if I can get healthier and back on the right track toward that, it would honestly be a huge success, even if I don’t reach my goal weight in time for the money challenge.

  11. Morgan Johnston Crumm says

    Crystal, I heard the song, "I Need you Now (How Many Times)" by Christian artist Plumb after reading your post the other day, and I thought of you.

    I've been reading The Daily Bible and JUST finished the Old Testament. Your post makes me think about all the rules God gave His people that He knew they could never keep perfectly, just to illustrate how greatly we need a Savior to bring mercy and grace.

    It's so easy to take an all-or-nothing approach when trying to get healthy and to beat yourself up over each little slip up. But the best diet plan will always be the one with grace built in. Grace to eat a piece of birthday cake or a drive-through chicken sandwich once in a while, to ask yourself for forgiveness, to accept that forgiveness, and to have Brussels spouts for dinner. We should never expect ourselves to be perfect–God doesn't.

    Good luck and God bless!

    • Crystal Brothers says

      Thank you so much for your encouragement, Morgan. That song definitely speaks to my heart.

      The tricky thing about food (especially junk foods, sugar, etc.) is that for many people, myself included, it is literally an addiction. So it is nearly impossible to have that moderation, because it doesn’t stop at just one thing. And it’s not necessarily a guilt thing (I already fell off the wagon, so I might as well give up), but rather an addiction/craving thing. I do agree with you that moderation is the key for most people though and I greatly appreciate your thoughts.

  12. Brooke Beggs Rix says

    What an encouragement you are to all of us! I love your drive and enthusiasm!! I will pray for you … Weight is also a struggle of mine .. Along w guilt. You are right tho!! W Gods help u will succeed!!!

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