To the Woman Who Regrets Her Abortion


I think about you a lot.

You’re a daughter, sister, friend. Maybe you’re even a mom now, and more than ever recognize the truth that your baby was not just a “clump of cells,” but was instead a baby with a heartbeat, formed in the womb and known by God.

I know you, but then I don’t. In many cases no one knows you because you keep your secret close to your heart, terrified of what would happen if it could see the light of day.

I am vehemently pro-life, and I abhor the evil of abortion and what it does to babies and their would-be mamas like you. I was horrified this past week to learn of the #shoutyourabortion and the popularity of said movement.

But still, it burdens me that you sometimes get caught in the cross

hairs in this fight against abortion.

I cringe every time I see some of the hateful, hurtful rhetoric from pro-lifers calling you “nothing but a murderer” and throwing your sins in your face in such mean-spirited, hateful ways.

We want to make a point, but sometimes I worry that the only thing we do is heap condemnation on your head. It doesn’t change the minds of pro-choicers, but it hurts you, and my heart hurts along with yours.

I cringe every time I see the abortion camps boasting that women don’t regret abortions. And my heart goes out to you because the abortion camp doesn’t want to claim someone with regret. And the pro-life camp condemns those who’ve had an abortion.

And maybe it feels like you can’t find peace anywhere.  But there is peace to be had if you look in the right place.

Satan is a liar

The Bible tells us that Satan is the father of lies. He is also our accuser. Rev 12:10 tells us that he accuses us day and night. He absolutely hates you. He is evil defined. He has no mercy, offers no quarter and he doesn’t fight fair.

He has no other ambition toward you, but to destroy you completely.

He wants to see you beat down and living in condemnation. He wants you to forget about the forgiveness offered by our Lord Jesus Christ, and to remember your sins. He wants you to think that they are so big they can never be forgiven. That is a lie. 

Let me tell you something else about Satan…he is destined for failure. He is fighting an impossible battle.

Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, “Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.

He has been cast down. Satan knows he’s fighting a losing battle. He’s desperate and he doesn’t fight fair. The Bible says that he has great wrath because he knows his time is short.

But, Jesus

Oh, how I wish I could express the overflowing joy and love in my heart through words. Yes, Satan hates you and wants to destroy you, but I’m so glad that’s not the end of the story.

Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but He came to give you life more abundant! Praise the Lord! If you are saved today, your sins are washed away.  All of them. You are as white as snow, because Jesus paid your debt and mine.

The Bible tells us that “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12). Satan will try to accuse you, but if you are saved, if you have repented and been born again, you have Truth on your side. Jesus paid your debt.

When I am tempted to give in to condemnation brought about by previous sins, one of the most comforting passages to me is Romans 8:31-39. Remember how I talked about Satan accusing us? It’s true, he does. But we also have an intercessor. Jesus Christ himself makes intercession for us at the right hand of God.

Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.

As Satan is accusing, Christ himself is interceding for us! And nothing shall separate us from the love of God. Oh how thankful I am for His mercies, new every morning.

God is our Redeemer

There are 120+ references to God as redeemer.  Nothing is too big for God to redeem. His word tells us that He is working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Though I would never believe that sin is His perfect will (He does, after all, give us free will also), I believe that He can redeem even that.

I love Psalm 107. “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so.” It’s too long to list everything here, but I encourage you to read it. It talks about God delivering His people.

Our experiences, even the bad ones, allow us a deeper compassion and empathy for others.

Your story of sin and pain and redemption could be the very thing that glorifies God to someone around you, or that encourages and inspires them to finally know the love of God personally.




  1. Anonymous says

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I sit here in tears. I’m one of those women you speak of and I so needed this today.


  2. says

    It's a moment in time never to be forgotten. October 20, 1997 9:15am. I remember, I regret. But more than that I still morn everyday quietly to myself. Thank you for your words and a reminder that we are not alone.

  3. Heather says

    Many, Many years ago as a young woman I made a choice that I regretted for years. I found myself pregnant with twins, nowhere to live. I grew up with my mother telling me that if I got pregnant she’d kick me out of the house, so I feared telling her. My boyfriend and I cried over the decision we made. Adoption never really crossed my mind even though my own mother had been adopted as a child. I had nightmares for for weeks after the procedure. I couldn’t eat, was severely depressed and broke up with my boyfriend. For many years after, while in healthy relationships there were times that I felt I should have been pregnant but wasn’t. I felt that God was punishing me, because that is what I grew up being told. Not until I went to speak to a therapist about missing my grandmother’s funeral did I deal with the shame and regret of the underlying issue. My therapist was also christian and reminded me that God does not punish but forgives if that is what I was seeking. I very badly wanted to “feel” forgiven and so she prayed with me. From that point forward I actually felt more at peace than I ever had. I still feel that pain of loss occasionally, but have 2 wonderful boys, 17 and 4, that brighten my days. I also feel the pain of someone paining over decisions that they’ve made or feel that they have to make. Though I do feel that it’s a woman’s choice, especially if there is a medical reason, there are options out there. For those that use it as a tool to deal with their lack of responsibility then that, for me, is not a valid reason. I pray for all of the woman out there faced with this, and hope that they know there is forgiveness. Not all of us are judgmental and self-righteous hypocrites that throw stones without thinking of the hurt that it causes.

    Please be at peace with yourself, it’s not worth the loss of beauty in your life.

  4. Anonymous says

    Thank you…its been 33 years and not a day goes by that I dont think about my horrible choice. It haunts me every day.

  5. Anonymous says

    Mine is recent. I regret my decision all day every day. I wish I could go back and walk out of the clinic. It was the worst decision of my life and I will regret it till the day I die. I’m sorry my little peanut. 😭

  6. Anonymous says

    Thank you so much for this read. I had my first Abortion Tuesday and I am deeply regretting it. I keep seeing the and hearing the procedure play over and over in my head. I can’t even stand the sound of my washer. Thankfully I have a therapist during this time that’s Christian and been very helpful and supportive. I know God has forgiven me, but it may take me a while for me to forgive myself. I’ve been crying since 2 days before the procedure and afterwards. I have a 10yr old son already and I have been hugging him even tighter. I keep crying out to God to help me through this because I know this is gonna be hard to get over. This is by far the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in life. I feel like my life has been sucked out of me. I just want my baby back. I’ve never been so heartbroken in my life.

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