Tag Archives: Devotions

Today, I want to talk about a popular attitude that we Christians are known for. You may have uttered it yourself: “I would never do that.” Although the words themselves are harmless enough, they can come from a place of pride and judgment. With these words, we place ourselves up on a pedestal, look down our noses at others and declare that we are better than they are.

But God’s word tells us:

Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before a fall.
-Proverbs 16:18

I was in high school, at the lunchroom table when a girl across from me said she wasn’t sure if her somewhat controlling boyfriend would let her do something that weekend. I don’t remember who she was talking to or what they were doing, but I remember my reaction clearly: I thought to myself, quite haughtily, I would never ask my boyfriend’s permission to do anything. No one is going to have that kind of control over me.

She must be weak. Why didn’t she just dump him? I was stronger. That would never happen to me.

A few years down the road, I spent almost 2 years in the midst of a destructive, controlling, abusive relationship. And then I understood how that could happen in someone’s life.

 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.
-1 Corinthians 10:12

I remember my college roommate asking, “Would you rather have diarrhea or vomiting?” What kind of question is that?! It turns out she was studying eating disorders for a class. My answer? “Ugh. Neither! I would never do something like that to myself!”

A few years later, I found myself standing over a toilet doing exactly that. And I understood how a person could reach that point.

I wonder about adultery. How many husbands  and wives do you think have said at one time, “I would never do that.” And yet many of them do.

The point here is not to imply that you’ll end up doing everything you say you’d never do. Instead, I just want us to consider a couple of things behind this statement.

Pride. The attitude is that while others may fall into sin, we never could. God says “Pride goes before the fall” and there is a reason for that. Once we start to think that we are somehow so good that we are immune to sin, there is a temptation to stop actively avoiding it. It’s okay if I talk have a close friendship with that man, I would never cheat on my husband. We forget that sin doesn’t just happen…it starts with small steady steps. We have all fallen short. We are all depraved sinners in need of grace (Romans 3:23). And we need to remember that. The Bible tells us that Satan walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. We cannot afford to get too comfortable. (1 Peter 5:8) (<–Tweet This)

Judgment. The other side of this coin is judgment. Since we would, of course, never do that thing, we give ourselves the freedom to judge harshly the person doing it.

Over the years, I’ve learned something tough about myself: I no longer know what I am capable of doing. It’s a humbling realization, but it reminds me every day that I need God to help me. And it has taught me to try harder to extend grace and compassion to others.

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In Matthew 18:12-14, and Luke 15:3-7, Jesus tells a story.  It’s a story of hope and redemption.  It’s a story to remind us all how very important we are to God.  It’s easy for me to say He rejoices over His people.  And He does.

But the truth is, He rejoices over me. He rejoices over you.  It’s such a beautiful thing.  

And sometimes, I’m afraid that in our quest to live out a grander purpose, we’re missing the oneThe one that Christ deemed worth searching for.  I firmly believe that if I get thousands of followers, or have a blog bringing in the big bucks, but miss the one person He had for me to reach…then I will have failed.  Because success in God’s eyes has nothing to do with numbers.  It has nothing to do with stats. It has everything to do with following his still soft voice.

We live in a society that has long ago forsaken the one. We decided that one person just doesn’t matter.  Only the multitudes matter, but to God every single person matters.

Yes, it’s awesome when God does BIG things.  And He can…cause He is a BIG God.  But it’s just as awesome when he moves for one.little.person.  Because he cares for each of us that much.

And as His child, as His follower, I am His mouthpiece to a world of hurting, searching people (and so are YOU, fellow Christians!).  As His child, I am called to care about the one hurting soul.

I’ll be honest and tell you that I struggle with this.  I get discouraged if my posts don’t get comments, or if my “stats” go down.  Is it because I want fame and fortune?  No, it’s because I’m insecure, and I crave something to validate me as being worthy.  But the truth is, Christ already did that. 

But sometimes, that little voice comes in.  The one that says “what are you doing anyway?  No one’s reading your words…You’re nobody, and your words are useless.” He makes me look at lagging pageviews and see that I’m not as good as ______________.  the-one-who-gets-no-glory-here wants me to overlook the “few” visits and see only the lack.  he wants me to determine that the one isn’t enough after all.

But God’s word speaks truth in the face of lies.  His word calls me to follow Him, His purpose, His calling.  Even if I never see the reward.  God’s word calls me to do everything to the name of the Lord Jesus–you know, the one who said that ONE person—or sheep—is worth it. (Col. 3:17).  God’s word says, “Whatever you do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord…” (Col 3:23).  Sometimes, it’s tempting to do this blogging thing halfheartedly.  When the enemy is whispering in my ear that no one’s watching, no one’s reading and no one cares.  But the truth is that God has called me to do this, and He cares, and He sees…the good and the bad.  He sees when I falter, and He wonders why I won’t serve Him fully.  And He sees when I give it my whole heart even if no one else seems to be listening.  He is there…my audience of one.

And that has to be enough.  I pray that my heart will move beyond a need for validation, and that I will live to hear only the voice of my savior saying “Well done, good and faithful servant.”  That is worth more than a million followers.

 

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Sometimes, I find myself overwhelmed by my to-do list.  Housework is a neverending cycle.  I’m trying to finish up this degree I’ve invested so much in. My kids need me. My husband needs me.   And I need to be the woman God calls me to be.

Sometimes, all that stuff gets in the way of me. I’m an introvert by nature and “need” quiet time.  Read a book.  Surf the web…pinterest, Christian blogs, facebook…there are MANY things online to distract me.

I could find countless online articles right now that talk about the importance of MY time.

But, the truth is, I don’t have any time.  If I am in Christ, my life is not my own.  My time is not my own.

Philippians 2:5 tells us, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.”  What mind was in Christ Jesus when it came to HIS time?  It was as in everything else—humility, always putting other people and the will of His Father above everything else.

We can find this in Mark 6:27-34.  John the Baptist was beheaded.  The disciples told Jesus about it and Jesus said, “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.”  The verse (31) goes on to say “For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.”  They were tired, hungry and needed a rest.  They were seeking solitude.  To wind down.  As a stay-at-home mom, how often do I seek solitude, some time to wind down?  I know what I do when that solitude is interrupted.  I get frustrated.  What did Jesus do when His solitude was interrupted?

“But the multitudes…arrived before them and came together to Him” He didn’t even get a moment of solitude in this passage because there was a throng of people waiting for Him when He got there.  What did He do?  “Jesus, when He came out, saw a great multitude and was moved with compassion for them.”

Wow.  When my family interrupts what I think should be my quiet time, my solitary time, my few minutes away from everything…I get frustrated.  When Jesus was interrupted, he was moved with compassion.

In a similar instance in Mark 1:32-38, we see Jesus retreat to a solitary place to pray.  Jesus had been ministering to people the whole day.  We are told in verse 33 that the whole city was gathered together at the door, and He healed many.  The next morning he woke up extra early to pray in solitude.  Jesus had a very busy day.  He was looking to refresh Himself!  How many times do I feel like I’ve had a busy day and deserve the right to refresh myself with some quiet time?

But, Simon and others came looking for Jesus and said, “Everyone is looking for you.”

The life of a mom means that there is always someone looking for us, someone needing something.  And I get frustrated. I want to be able to read my Bible, fold the laundry, even do chores without interruption, and a little time to wind down at the end of the day.  Jesus could have said the same thing…Just give me a few minutes to pray in peace, people!  Leave me alone.  But, he didn’t.  Instead, He replied, “Let us go into the next towns, that I may preach there also, because for this purpose I have come forth.”

Jesus knew that His purpose was to carry out the will of His Father.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  I pray that I could grasp that same understanding.  My life is not my own.  My time is not my own.  My purpose is to carry out the will of my Father.  Nothing more (despite my own ambitions), and certainly nothing less.

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Read: Philippians 3:12-16

Key Verse: “One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
 –Philippians 3:13-14

Dig Deeper:  After these words, Paul goes on to say that all who are mature in Christ should have this mindset, and if not, God will reveal it to them.  So, all of us should have this mindset, but what exactly is Paul talking about here?  What things are (or at least should be) left behind and forgotten?  Anything that gets in the way of our moving forward in Christ.  Here are some things I think we should leave behind.

  1. Worldly Pursuits.  God’s word tells us that once we are in Christ, we are a “new creation.”  We are new in Him.  Jesus says to follow Him, we should deny ourselves.  When we accept Christ, we become a servant to Him.  Worldly pursuits should be behind us and we should have a focused goal of following Christ.  Worldly pursuits could look different for different people, but I don’t believe they are just sinful activities.  Instead, I believe it encompasses anything we strive for that takes away from or goes against God’s purpose in our lives.  Striving for worldly goals will only result in discontent, and distract us from the ultimate goal that Paul is speaking of here.
  2. Regret, past sins, failures, and condemnation.  We’ve all made mistakes in life, whether you were a drug addict or a goody two-shoes.  I fail as a wife.  I fail as a mother.  I fail as a friend, daughter, and child of God.  Every.single.day, I fall short of who God has called me to be and who my family needs me to be.  Yes, I need to learn from my mistakes and strive continually to be the woman that God created me to be.  But, I cannot live in a place of self-condemnation.  God inspires us with conviction.  Satan disables us with condemnation.  Regret wastes too much energy.  Instead, past mistakes should be forgotten, so that we can move on and move forward in Him. 
  3.  Grievances and wrongs.  God’s word talks many times about forgiving those who wrong us.  There is a great quote, “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”  Holding onto a grudge eats away at a person’s peace, and allows bitterness to take root in one’s heart.  God requires forgiveness from us, just as he offers forgiveness to us.  In addition to that, He realizes the harmful effects of bitterness and holding a grudge.  It will hold you back and prevent you from giving yourself fully to Him and His purpose.

In the midst of discussing the second coming, Jesus says this simple statement in Luke 17:32, “Remember Lot’s wife.”  We can find her story in Genesis 19:1-26.  I challenge you to read it.  There are so many disturbing aspects to this story, but mostly it shows the dangers of holding on to worldly pursuits.  Lot was so caught up in the sinful world in which he was leaving that he had to be physically pulled away from the city (Genesis 19:16), even after being told that it would be destroyed.  In Lot’s wife, we see the dangers of looking back to such a life.

If there is something in your life that needs to be left behind and forgotten, I pray that God will help you release it so that you can do as Paul, and forget those things that are behind and press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus!

What other things do you think we should forget and leave behind?

 

How Depression affects family

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This post was written with tears, and it’s hard to share.  I promised myself (and the Lord) that I would follow His leading, and be real on my blog, even when it’s uncomfortable or embarrassing.

Have you ever seen a truly horrible picture of yourself?  Maybe it’s a yearbook picture, or that time when you had the awful perm or dye job.  Maybe it’s when you’re already overweight, and the camera adds 10 about 25 extra pounds.  It could be an awkward pose or a strange expression on your face.  But whatever the reason, you want to hide that picture away and make sure that no one ever sees it.

This weekend, I saw a really bad picture of myself, deeper than any camera could portray. 

You see, as I have struggled with depression, my family has suffered along with me because their wife and mommy wasn’t really here.  As I have fought this illness (because that’s what depression is—it’s not a sin or a choice, it’s an illness.), my husband and my precious boys have had to suffer as well.

It started out as an innocent conversation about dessert while we were headed home from an outing.  I told the boys I would make them a fruit and yogurt parfait.  Chad said he might have one too, with crushed graham crackers on top.  I told him I usually put some grape nuts on their yogurt (the grape nuts that Chad thought he remembered liking, but once we got them, he didn’t).  And, that conversation was over. 

Or so I thought.  Fast forward a few minutes as we get closer to our driveway, and the conversation goes something like this:

Chad, clearly distressed:  You’re going to be so mad at me.
Me:  What is it, honey?
Chad:  I don’t even want to tell you, because we’re having such a good day and I don’t want to ruin it.
Me:  Honey, I don’t think I’m going to be mad, just tell me.
Chad (sighing):  You are going to be mad.  But it’ll probably be better if I just tell you instead of you finding out in there.

Okay, at this point I was kind of freaking out…what in the world was my husband so scared to tell me?  Finally, I said, “Honey, just spit it out.  I won’t be mad and it won’t ruin our day.”

There was a moment of silence and then he took a deep breath, “I threw away the box of grape nuts.”  Once the words were out, he hurried into an explanation, “We weren’t eating it and it was expired anyway, so I threw it away.”

All I could do was stare at him, speechless.  That’s it.  He threw away the box of grape nuts.

What kind of wife am I that my husband was so afraid of my reaction over a box of expired grape nuts cereal?  (rhetorical question, please don’t answer!)

As God has lifted the fog that is depression, He has renewed my desire to serve Him in all things, including being a more godly wife to my husband.  To submit to him and respect him in the way that he deserves.  I know that I have a long way to go. 

 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
-Psalm 139:23-24

This has been my prayer lately.  I long to be intimate with God, closer to Him than I have been before.  Closer to the woman He is calling me to be.  But sometimes that requires Him showing me a “wicked way”, and it’s not pretty.  But even in the midst of the pain of facing the woman I had become, His hand is gently leading me. 

It is worth the pain of chastisement to be led by the Almighty God.  It is worth the disappointment in myself to rise above my shortcomings, through Him.  It is worth seeing the ugly truth in order to become the godly wife my husband deserves, and more importantly, the woman my Savior deserves for me to be. 

Jesus gave His all for me, and he deserves nothing less than all of me, given up to Him and His purpose.

Over the weekend, I was reading the blog of a woman from my town whose son is nearly 6 months old, and has spent every single day of his precious life in the NICU.  You see, he was born with CDH.  The post I was reading came after a host of setbacks.  He’d been improving and they were trying out home vents and he was making strides (The picture above is from that time period, when he was improving), and then he reherniated.  If that wasn’t setback enough, he’d been on a paralytic for 3 weeks during that time and the doctors were planning to attempt another repair.  Except that now he had pneumonia and they wouldn’t be able to do that.  In her post, his mother said this,

“I feel like I’ve been allowing myself too many pity parties again and I don’t like it.”

My first thought was, if anyone deserves a pity party, it’s you. We were in the NICU with Logan for 1 week.  It felt like a year and was the longest, toughest week of my life to date.  Hannah has watched her little boy in the NICU for nearly 6 months.  My flesh cried out that she deserves a pity party.  We always hear that it’s okay to feel sorry for yourself sometimes.  It’s okay to have that pity party. Maybe it’s because of the word “party” in there, but we treat it like something that must be good for us.

It’s not.  A pity party is dangerous, and here’s why:

  1. The joy of the Lord is my strength.  Nehemiah knew what he was talking about.  God gives us joy, and that joy gives us strength.  Strength to face the life God has called us to, and strength to face the trials along the way.  A pity party is the opposite of joy, and it robs me of my strength in Christ.  Satan wants to steal your joy, and having a pity party lets him.
  2. God is in the Victory.  Ephesians tells us that God is able to do “immeasurably more” than we could ever even think to ask of Him!  That’s pretty awesome!  God is so much bigger than our problems, and even bigger than we could ever comprehend.  He has given us everything we need to live in victory.  Satan wants to kill your victory and replace it with defeat instead.  Don’t let him.  Living in defeat will drain your energy and drain your faith.
  3. We know how this story ends.  I talked about this a few times before, particularly in my Philippians study.  But, as Christians, we know how this story of life ends.  It ends with followers of Christ receiving our eternal reward.  We need to keep that perspective.  Satan wants to destroy it.  He wants to get us so focused on the trials, so focused on the sadness of this life that we lose our hope and peace.

“The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy.  I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly.”  -John 10:10

When we fall into the place of self-pity, we are giving Satan power over us and choosing to live in defeat.  Jesus wants to give us abundant life that rises above that defeat.  The next time you are facing problems and trials, and tragedies in life that seem insurmountable, pray this prayer over yourself, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  (Romans 15:13)  Tell Satan that you refuse to let him steal your joy, your hope, your faith, or your peace of mind!

(In the meantime, the doctors have decided to attempt the repair surgery for Baby Clay TODAY.  Please, take a minute to pray for this baby and his parents, and please take a minute to visit her blog and leave a word of encouragement)

(Linking up with:  {titus 2}sday, Domestically Divine, On your Heart,)

 

Promises

Read: Philippians 1:1-8.

Key Verse: Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.  Philippians 1:6

Digging Deeper: Overall, this verse is generally acknowledged to be speaking of salvation and sanctification, a work that will be complete in us when Jesus comes back.  However, this verse recently took on a new meaning for me as God used it to speak to me on a more personal level.

God’s word is living, and He can use His word (or anything else for that matter) to speak to us in a personally relevant way.

A couple of months ago, God gave me a promise.  He spoke into my spirit, and said that He was going to give me a new testimony.  You see, for most of my life I have struggled with severe depression and anxiety disorder/panic attacks.  I’ve also struggled with eating disorders and food addiction.  One night at church I was praying and God told me my new testimony is going to be freedom from those related issues.  Deliverance.  God began this work in me right then.  At that moment, I KNEW what God had spoken to me and I KNEW that I would be (WILL BE) delivered, as He said it.

Then comes life.  We live in a drive-thru, instant society.  After a couple of months, complete with worsening symptoms and naysayers, my conviction in that promise started waning.

What if I misunderstood.  Maybe I was right all those years and there really is no cure, no help?

That’s when He led me right to this verse.  He has begun a good work, and He will complete it.

Thanks to Jill Eileen Smith and her wonderful “Wives of King David” series (I really cannot say enough good things about these books!!!), I have recently been studying deeper into the life of this “man after God’s own heart.”

It’s truly fascinating!  If you study Psalms, you can find moments of peace, joy, and worship, but also moments of great pain and suffering even bordering on despair.

God made a promise to David when Samuel anointed him, a most unlikely choice, to be king.  After that, David defeated Goliath.  At that moment, he likely felt sure of himself and where he was headed as all the people lauded him for that victory.  God had clearly been with him in that battle, and David seemed to be headed in the right direction.  It’s easy to believe in God’s promise when it seems obvious, when things are going right.

Then, things got more complicated.  Saul made it his mission to kill David.  During this time, David didn’t live in a Palace for kings, but rather hid out in caves because he couldn’t even show himself in the country he was supposed to rule over one day.  Suddenly, things aren’t looking so peachy anymore.

That’s when we have to look to God.  If things went just right, if they always made sense, we might start thinking we had something to do with it.  God loves to do the unexpected.  We think we have things all figured out when we do not.

David would go through many trials, and it would be years (I’ve seen varying estimates, between 7 and 12 years), before he would see the fulfillment of God’s promise.

If God has made you a promise, hold on to it!  “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it.”

Just like God kept his promise to David, a mere shepherd boy, that he would one day rule Israel.  If God said it, it shall be done, in HIS time, in HIS way, and to HIS glory.

I would love for you to share your thoughts and experiences as well!

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