Faith Archives - Serving Joyfully

07Apr 2013

Poor is in the attitude

This is from the archives,originally published June 2012 but this is almost exactly what we talked about in Sunday school yesterday, so I thought I would repost.

“Poor” is a matter of attitude, not bank account.

I know this series is about conquering debt on a low-income, but to do that requires a frugal lifestyle (or that you win the lottery, of course), and a frugal lifestyle usually requires that we change our way of thinking.

I read an article recently that saddened me. It was about “impoverished” parenting and the author was lamenting the fact that her children weren’t able to eat much junk food because they were too poor. They also couldn’t afford to buy organic products, or name brand clothes. She went on and on about how “poor” they were because they could only do this and this, but weren’t able to do that. By the end of the article, she had achieved her goal and I felt deeply sorry for her children.

I don’t feel sorry for them that they are deprived. They aren’t.

There are countless people in this world who are starving. No this isn’t a “there are people worse off than you” lecture, the point is that many of them are more content than we are! Will you process that for a minute? When I went to Haiti on a mission trip in 2003, I witnessed some of the deepest levels of poverty I have ever seen—people living in run-down straw shacks with dirt floors. Babies with their bellies pooched out from malnutrition, and kids with orange hair because their starving bodies were trying desperately to save any nutrition possible. Even in their deep need, the people I met were far happier and more content than the spoiled American society that we live in.

The children from that blog post are only deprived because their mother is teaching them that they are deprived. They are being taught to allow money to control their happiness and to live in a constant state of perceived want. Once that mindset starts, there can be no fulfillment, no matter how much money you have, no matter how many nice things you have, there will always be something out of reach that leaves you wanting, until you change your attitude.

We’re on a limited budget, and I’ve had people shake their heads at how we’re depriving our boys of ____ (insert junk food, eating out, fancy toys, expensive vacations, etc.). We have a roof over our heads and God always provides our needs (and most reasonable wants!). We have a $200/month grocery budget, which rarely includes junk food. (that’s a good thing. We don’t need junk food!) My boys always wear used clothing and it’s rarely name brand (again, a good thing. I don’t want them to learn that the label on their clothing determines their value). Logan wears almost entirely hand-me-downs, except for a couple of new outfits throughout the year that he gets for his birthday or Christmas. They have less toys than other children we know and the ones they have aren’t fancy.

But, let me make something very clear. We are not poor and my children are not deprived. I will not teach them that.

They use their imaginations. They enjoy simple things. They don’t require the newest fancy toys to have fun or be happy. We choose this for them, for a variety of reasons.

As Christians, we’ve all heard this verse quoted, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Do you know what Paul said just before those inspiring words?

“I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:11-13)

Paul had learned the lesson that contentedness, happiness, fulfillment and joy are not found in things. He had learned to be content despite his circumstances. Why are we teaching our children the opposite?

It is our job as parents to teach our children how to be content, transcendent of circumstances and material possessions.

We are making the choice to teach our children this valuable life lesson. Through simple living, we are teaching them to be content with what we have. No, they don’t have name brand clothes, a lot of junk food, or fancy toys. They don’t “get to” eat out a lot or go on expensive vacations. But they are happy and enjoy the simple things in life. They are content.

They are a lot richer than most of the children around us who have every possible want fulfilled.

03Apr 2013

Cardboard Testimonies

Crystal ⋅ 26 Comments

On Easter Sunday, we were blessed to participate in cardboard testimonies at our church. If you’ve never seen (or heard of) cardboard testimonies, you can see an example here. It’s an incredibly moving presentation of people sharing something God has done for them, or something God has helped them overcome.

Our testimonies are powerful.

Here is Chad and my younger son, Logan:

When Logan was born, I was only allowed a brief moment with him before he was taken away to the NICU because he couldn’t regulate his blood sugar. At 5:00 am the next morning, a doctor came into my room: “Your baby is having seizures.” This doctor was trying to help my son and had no time for bedside manner. He immediately went into a litany of tests being performed, possible diagnoses and complications. I won’t lie, I was scared.

The seizures continued and later that day, Logan was transferred to a nearby hospital with a better NICU and access to a better neurology department. I chronicled our week-long journey in real-time. But in the end, I sat in the NICU holding my newborn Logan while a neurologist told me that my baby had brain damage. They couldn’t say for sure if it happened in utero or at birth, but it was there. He said the damage was similar to what would be caused by a stroke and that if an adult suffered such damage there would be no hope. They would be vegetative or dead.

He kept saying “we can’t know how bad it will be, only time will tell.” He said worst case is that my son would be vegetative, require constant care for the rest of his life, might never be aware of his surroundings, never be able to speak, never able to recognize me as his mother or tell me he loves me. He might never walk or talk. He might have cerebral palsy. The list of potential problems and complications was seemingly endless and severe.

The hope offered was that sometimes a baby’s still-forming brain can compensate for such a loss. The best case scenario was that he’d have milder learning or physical disabilities.

As I cried into my baby’s sleeping head, clutching him tightly to my chest, I wanted this doctor to tell me it might be okay. I said “So the other parts of his brain might compensate so that you can’t even tell anything’s wrong?”

He was quick to correct me. “No.” This damage is there, and it is permanent. The only thing we don’t know is exactly how badly his life will be affected. It might not be very bad.

When I relayed the story to others, I would put on my happy face, and I would dress it up. I would leave out the worst case scenario and focus only on the best. But I was there, alone in the moment when the doctor happened to come, and I will never forget the scary and uncertain prognosis delivered to me that day.

It was a waiting game.

But then he started to laugh.

And he started to roll over, sit up, and crawl.

And he started to walk at 10 months of age.

At 18 months, he recognized all his colors, even though he couldn’t really talk then.

Logan

And at 2 years old, a switch seemed to flip and he went from not talking at all to speaking in full sentences, almost over night.

And slowly we watched our little boy grow, meeting or exceeding every developmental milestone.

And on Sunday we were able to share the rest of the story in the form of a cardboard testimony:

21Feb 2013

Everything Happens for a Reason.

Crystal ⋅ 21 Comments

There is a phrase I hear a lot, from both Christians and non-Christians: Everything happens for a reason. It’s usually said to explain away something bad.

I was a drug addict, but everything happens for a reason.

I was involved in a 2-year long, abusive relationship…but everything happens for a reason.

My husband and I got divorced, but now I’m remarried and happy so everything happens for a reason.

Usually, people go on to talk about how it was all God’s will, or it was all in His plan. And that has always left me feeling a bit confused. You mean, it was God’s will for you to get a divorce? It was God’s will for you to be a drug addict?

No, I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that. God hates sin, and I don’t think sin is in His perfect plan for my life.

I mean, of course everything happens for a reason, but sometimes that reason is simply our own sin or bad choices (or someone else’s). Sometimes that reason is that we live in a fallen world. Sometimes, we are looking for an answer that just isn’t there. I spent 2 years of my life in an abusive relationship. I still have scars from this relationship, even though I am happily married now to a loving, supportive, understanding, wonderful man. I don’t think that God led me down that path (in fact, I know He didn’t…but that’s another post). I led myself down that path, but He can redeem it.

God’s word does tell us:

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. -Romans 8:28

Wow! This gives me so much hope. God can redeem all my mistakes, my flaws, my failures. It doesn’t mean he planned them, or that it was His perfect will for me. But it does mean that if I let Him, He will use all of my mistakes, and all of other people’s mistakes that I’ve been victim to, and He will bring something good out of it.
It means that no matter what Satan tries to throw at me, no matter what “life” throws at me, no matter how much I fail and sabotage myself through sin, He can make all things work together for good.

It doesn’t mean that I was in His perfect will when I made those mistakes, or that it was His plan or reasons that caused them. It just means that it’s another example of His awesome grace and mercy at work. Because even in those moments when I veer so far off His path that I can’t even see His path anymore, if I just come back to Him, submit submit myself to Him. If I love Him and am called according to His purpose, then He can still redeem even the worst in my life.

24Jan 2013

I would never do that

Crystal ⋅ 13 Comments

Today, I want to talk about a popular attitude that we Christians are known for. You may have uttered it yourself: “I would never do that.” Although the words themselves are harmless enough, they can come from a place of pride and judgment. With these words, we place ourselves up on a pedestal, look down our noses at others and declare that we are better than they are.

But God’s word tells us:

Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before a fall.
-Proverbs 16:18

I was in high school, at the lunchroom table when a girl across from me said she wasn’t sure if her somewhat controlling boyfriend would let her do something that weekend. I don’t remember who she was talking to or what they were doing, but I remember my reaction clearly: I thought to myself, quite haughtily, I would never ask my boyfriend’s permission to do anything. No one is going to have that kind of control over me.

She must be weak. Why didn’t she just dump him? I was stronger. That would never happen to me.

A few years down the road, I spent almost 2 years in the midst of a destructive, controlling, abusive relationship. And then I understood how that could happen in someone’s life.

Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.
-1 Corinthians 10:12

I remember my college roommate asking, “Would you rather have diarrhea or vomiting?” What kind of question is that?! It turns out she was studying eating disorders for a class. My answer? “Ugh. Neither! I would never do something like that to myself!”

A few years later, I found myself standing over a toilet doing exactly that. And I understood how a person could reach that point.

I wonder about adultery. How many husbands and wives do you think have said at one time, “I would never do that.” And yet many of them do.

The point here is not to imply that you’ll end up doing everything you say you’d never do. Instead, I just want us to consider a couple of things behind this statement.

Pride. The attitude is that while others may fall into sin, we never could. God says “Pride goes before the fall” and there is a reason for that. Once we start to think that we are somehow so good that we are immune to sin, there is a temptation to stop actively avoiding it. It’s okay if I talk have a close friendship with that man, I would never cheat on my husband. We forget that sin doesn’t just happen…it starts with small steady steps. We have all fallen short. We are all depraved sinners in need of grace (Romans 3:23). And we need to remember that. The Bible tells us that Satan walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. We cannot afford to get too comfortable. (1 Peter 5:8) (<–Tweet This)

Judgment. The other side of this coin is judgment. Since we would, of course, never do that thing, we give ourselves the freedom to judge harshly the person doing it.

Over the years, I’ve learned something tough about myself: I no longer know what I am capable of doing. It’s a humbling realization, but it reminds me every day that I need God to help me. And it has taught me to try harder to extend grace and compassion to others.

19Oct 2012

It is Written: Resisting Temptation

Crystal ⋅ 11 Comments

How to Resist Temptation (Like Jesus)

We all go through temptations. Some are seemingly insignificant and some are huge. But, a part of walking with Christ is honoring Him with our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin, and we need to act like it. So how to we resist when temptation is so strong?

There is no better way to resist temptation than to follow the only man who’s ever done it.

So, let’s see what Jesus did. In Matthew 4:1-11, we can see 4 key things that Jesus did to resist the temptations thrown at Him straight from the devil.

1. Be prepared. (Matthew 4:1-2) Know that overcoming temptation begins long before you actually face it. Jesus spent time with his Father, regularly. This time, He’d been fasting for 40 days. Yes, Jesus was hungry, but he was anything but weak. It’s filling ourselves up with things of the world that robs us of strength. Fasting and praying strengthens us. Jesus was prepared for satan’s attack, because He had spent time with His father.

2. Call on your authority. (Matthew 4:3-4) Through Christ, we have authority, and God’s word gives that to us. God’s word is powerful! And it’s the one thing satan can’t argue with. Satan is a quick wit. If we come at him with reasons and excuses, he will beat us nearly every time. We have to come at him, Just as Jesus did, with all the power of God’s word. This is why I think scripture memorization is so important!

3. Know who you are. (Matthew 4:5-7) This is a biggie. We have to know who we are in Christ. Loved. Strong. We have the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of us! We are heirs with Christ. It’s so easy to let that voice of insecurity step in and taunt us to prove ourselves. Satan said “If you really are the son of God…” But Jesus knew. He didn’t have to prove himself to anyone. He knew. And that was more than enough. Furthermore, He had perspective—He knew that nothing satan had to offer would hold a candle to what He already had in His father. We have that same assurance.

4. Be strong. (Matthew 4:8-11) We cannot be wavering. “Innocent” temptations can get out of control if given a chance. Any crack in resistance gives satan room to get in. “I’m just going to add my old boyfriend to my facebook friends list. No big deal.” A few weeks later, it becomes a simple conversation between friends. That’s it. Until the next thing you know, you’re having a full blown emotional and/or physical affair and have no idea how you got there. Step by little step. You got there because you didn’t stand strong. Jesus didn’t consider satan’s proposals. He didn’t waver with a “let me think about it”, or “This little thing couldn’t hurt.” The goal is never to see how close we can get to sinning without crossing some magic line. The goal is always to strive toward holiness. By stopping temptation in its tracks, even on the little things, we can make sure they don’t become big things.

Submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee. –James 4:7

Finally, remember Ephesians 6:10-18 and “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”

What are your tips for resisting temptations in your life, big and small?

08Oct 2012

The One Where I Come Clean…

Crystal ⋅ 65 Comments

Photo Credit

If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll know that I’m very much a proponent of authenticity. I believe being real is the way to encourage one another, and share hope. But, in many ways I’ve been a fraud. The very title of my blog is a lie.

Serving Joyfully.

It’s my desire, but not my truth.

Because the truth is, I suffer from an invisible illness. I’ve made reference to it a few times, but mostly it’s a topic I’ve shied away from. Because I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to put words to paper.

So I waited.

I waited for my healing. Waited for the time when I could talk about this thing called depression from the other side—the victory side. Life is so much sweeter on the other side, and that’s what I wanted to share. Not the darkness. Because it’s hard. It’s uncertain. There are days when I forget that there is any other place besides here, in the senseless sadness.

So I waited.

This illness is so misunderstood, with harsh judgments. There are misconceptions and so much shame. I internalized the idea that this sickness is a sin that must be repented, overcome and in the past before I could bring it into the light. But it isn’t. Depression is not a sin, because it’s not a choice: it’s an illness.

So, I waited.

I waited for the other side. I didn’t want to share from this side. The defeated side. The one swallowed in darkness.

But it’s where I am.

So here’s the truth: I suffer from depression, anxiety, which have led to an eating disorder. In many ways, I feel that depression is an attack of Satan, just as could be argued for any sickness. Jesus said the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, and that’s what depression does.

It takes every ounce of my energy every day not to let this illness win. And sometimes I still feel like I’m losing.

You may remember that I don’t have health insurance. For this reason, treatment hasn’t been an option for me until now. However, since we moved there is a much more affordable clinic ($15-$30 per visit instead of $70-$80). I’m hopeful, but not naive. I’ve watched my dad struggle with depression my entire life, despite treatment. There is no cure all, until God fulfills the promise He spoke into my life for healing.

I don’t know why depression has to be a part of my story, but I want to use it to His glory. So, I’ve been waiting, praying for God to show me how and when to share. Tonight, I sat down to write up a recipe, but this is what came pouring out. I pray you’ll be kind. I pray that you will look past the misconceptions, past everything you’ve ever heard or believed about depression (that it isn’t real, that it’s a sin, that it’s a sign of weakness, that it’s selfishness, that it’s just an excuse), and see the heart. Not just for me, but for thousands of other people who are suffering from a very real illness.

And for my husband, and my boys who deserve so much more.

I strongly prefer natural remedies, so if you have any info on non-medicinal remedies for depression, I would love for you to share!

PS–My blog has been nominated for a Circle of Moms Top 25 List! I’m honored, and would love your votes You can vote here. You may have to click the “pending” tab.

27Sep 2012

My audience of one…

Crystal ⋅ 35 Comments

Photo Credit

In Matthew 18:12-14, and Luke 15:3-7, Jesus tells a story. It’s a story of hope and redemption. It’s a story to remind us all how very important we are to God. It’s easy for me to say He rejoices over His people. And He does.

But the truth is, He rejoices over me. He rejoices over you. It’s such a beautiful thing.

And sometimes, I’m afraid that in our quest to live out a grander purpose, we’re missing the one. The one that Christ deemed worth searching for. I firmly believe that if I get thousands of followers, or have a blog bringing in the big bucks, but miss the one person He had for me to reach…then I will have failed. Because success in God’s eyes has nothing to do with numbers. It has nothing to do with stats. It has everything to do with following his still soft voice.

We live in a society that has long ago forsaken the one. We decided that one person just doesn’t matter. Only the multitudes matter, but to God every single person matters.

Yes, it’s awesome when God does BIG things. And He can…cause He is a BIG God. But it’s just as awesome when he moves for one.little.person. Because he cares for each of us that much.

And as His child, as His follower, I am His mouthpiece to a world of hurting, searching people (and so are YOU, fellow Christians!). As His child, I am called to care about the one hurting soul.

I’ll be honest and tell you that I struggle with this. I get discouraged if my posts don’t get comments, or if my “stats” go down. Is it because I want fame and fortune? No, it’s because I’m insecure, and I crave something to validate me as being worthy. But the truth is, Christ already did that.

But sometimes, that little voice comes in. The one that says “what are you doing anyway? No one’s reading your words…You’re nobody, and your words are useless.” He makes me look at lagging pageviews and see that I’m not as good as ______________. the-one-who-gets-no-glory-here wants me to overlook the “few” visits and see only the lack. he wants me to determine that the one isn’t enough after all.

But God’s word speaks truth in the face of lies. His word calls me to follow Him, His purpose, His calling. Even if I never see the reward. God’s word calls me to do everything to the name of the Lord Jesus–you know, the one who said that ONE person—or sheep—is worth it. (Col. 3:17). God’s word says, “Whatever you do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord…” (Col 3:23). Sometimes, it’s tempting to do this blogging thing halfheartedly. When the enemy is whispering in my ear that no one’s watching, no one’s reading and no one cares. But the truth is that God has called me to do this, and He cares, and He sees…the good and the bad. He sees when I falter, and He wonders why I won’t serve Him fully. And He sees when I give it my whole heart even if no one else seems to be listening. He is there…my audience of one.

And that has to be enough. I pray that my heart will move beyond a need for validation, and that I will live to hear only the voice of my savior saying “Well done, good and faithful servant.” That is worth more than a million followers.